As we draw closer to the presidential primary election taking place in Oklahoma on Tuesday, candidates are sending me 25 texts per day working harder and harder to secure enough votes to make sure they are their party’s candidate. While Trump will be the default candidate for the truth-no-longer-matters Republican ticket, the race is on to see who will become the Democratic nominee for the 2020 presidential race. Last week, actress Ashley Judd made a visit to Oklahoma to rally voters to pledge their support to Elizabeth Warren.
Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t like the idea of some hoity toity, Hollywood outsider coming to town to tell us common folk how to vote. I think we should instead look to our esteemed leaders-the Oklahoma politicians we ourselves voted into office- to guide us in the election process. Now I know most of our local politicians are Trump asskissers loyalists who publicly support him as president. But I firmly believe that actions speak louder than words. So here’s a list of who some of our politicians should probably vote for, based on their own ideologies, actions, and policies.
Look, I don’t think Governor Kevin Stitt and Elizabeth Warren really see eye-to-eye when it comes to legislation or policy. But he probably doesn’t want to be remembered as the most senior-serving Oklahoma politician to have their disrespectful pandering backfire like it did.
Hell, at least 5 or 6 Oklahoma lawmakers for Biden
So many lawmakers in this state have been accused of sexual assault of some kind that we, out of the kindness of our hearts, made a guide to help them to not become sex offenders. Being that Grandpa Joe Biden is also known for blurring boundaries and serving as a reminder to women to check the expiration date on their keychain pepper spray, I’m sure we have at least 5 or 6 lawmakers who are secretly supporting Biden.