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OK House Candidate went on a Kid Rock Party Cruise…

11:25 AM EDT on September 17, 2018

The guy wearing the wife-beater and cargos with a dead elk's antler in his hand is Rusty Cornwell. When Rusty's not collecting scrap metal or buying lotto scratchers at the Quik-E-Stop, he owns and operates a Daylight Donut franchise and hunting reserve outside of Vinita. Because we live in Trump's / Putin's America, he's the GOP candidate for State Rep in Oklahoma House District 6.

Via his campaign website:

If there’s work to be done, Rusty Cornwell will be the first in line. Whether he’s working a ranch, teaching a veteran to shoot skeet or whipping up donuts at the crack of dawn, Rusty doesn’t look the other way.

Wait a second? He's teaching military veterans how to shoot skeet? Is that really necessary? You'd think handling and shooting a firearm is a skill most veterans are familiar with. Does Rusty also teach local basketball players how to play HORSE?

He expects he will work with the same urgency and intensity when he’s elected to the District 6 seat in the Oklahoma House of Representatives. He will be polite and courteous when he asks for your vote.

That’s Rusty — tireless worker, successful businessman, country gentleman.

Yep, that's Rusty for you. He's a tireless worker, successful businessman, and country gentleman. In fact, he works so hard, has achieved so much business success, and is such a country gentleman that he sometimes has to grab a shark tooth necklace and go bawitdaba on a Kid Rock party cruise.

That's what he did in 2017:

That's bizarre. I didn't know the Kid Rock party cruise was on a real boat on a real ocean. I figured it was just a bunch of rednecks with 500 rafts tied together floating down a river. I guess having good taste in music has made me being oblivious to the idiocracy growing around me.

Apparently the Kid Rock cruise is a popular annual event. Drew Magary documented his experience in GQ way back in 2013. You can read it here.

Rusty and his wife Sherri went on the cruise in 2017. I guess it was a birthday present to one of them. I don't know which, because they share a Facebook account:

Being a Kid Rock fan would be pretty awful, but can you imagine marrying one??? Yikes. That's worse than sharing a Facebook account with your significant other, or someone giving you a limited-edition bullet as a gift. About that bullet:

Although it appears Rusty didn't serve in the military like his Democratic opponent, you do have to give him props for the work he does for our military veterans. Well, outside of teaching them how to shoot skeet. That still seems weird.

Anyway, we'd like to wish Rusty the best of luck in the upcoming election. Although I'm not sure I could vote for someone who has got freaky to Cowboy in a boat in the middle of the ocean, you can't find a better representation of Oklahoma's representative democracy than a country gentleman Kid Rock fan who owns a donut shop. Maybe he can buy some of Joe Exotic's ligers for his hunting business.

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