Last week, I got a weird email from an Ogle Mole about a situation taking place at the El Reno branch of the Canadian County Health Department. It went a little something like this....
According to a Mole, $80 or so turned up missing from the El Reno branch of the Canadian County Health Department in mid-July. The Mole didn't clarify if it was $80 out of petty cash, a swear jar, or a mysterious, federally-funded onion burger slush fund. Either way, $80 is missing and the higher-ups are pissed. They don't want another health department money scandal, even if it's over $80.
As a result, Mr. Don Smalling arrived on the scene to investigate. In January, Smalling – a state employee with a law enforcement background – was promoted from being the Health Department's security chief to "Interim Director of the Office of Accountability Systems." According to The Oklahoman, he "oversees audits and investigations into illegal activity or mismanagement" for the embattled agency.
The new gig is apparently a job that Smalling takes very seriously. To get to the bottom of the $80 whodunnit, he launched a full investigation that would make any authoritarian, strong-armed member of the secret police proud, and promptly sent the following interrogation form to all of the employees at the El Reno branch of the Canadian County Health Department. The questionnaire is a mesh between something you'd read in 1984 and watch on The Office.
Check it out, and when you do, please keep in mind the entire fuss is over $80 that disappeared from petty cash.