Last night, three volunteers from Green the Vote hijacked the organization's Facebook account and shared a video that accused the group's leader, stoner Isaac Caviness, of inflating lying to the public about the number of signatures they collected to get SQ 797 and SQ 798 on the Oklahoma ballot.
On Sunday, July 29th, Green the Vote claimed to have 132,537 signatures for SQ 797, which would put a vote to legalize recreational marijuana on the 2020 ballot. They also claimed to have 115,123 signatures for State Question 796. Only a few thousand signatures short, it would let the people choose to amend the constitution and define marijuana "as a medicinal drug."
Well, I guess those numbers are more inflated than Skip Bayless' high school sports memories. According to the video, the total amount of signatures collected is actually in the 40,000 to 75,000 range, far short of the 120,000 needed.
Here's the video the volunteers left. You may want to skip ahead a few minutes. They spend the first couple of minutes nervously rambling like a stoner who just realized time is in infinite, static state, with no beginning and no end, like a Hostess cupcake.
(Editor's Note: They deleted the video from Facebook. We're smart and had a feeling that would happen, so we saved it ahead of time and put it on YouTube.)
Nice camera angle! I thought I was watching an amateur ZZ Top "Legs" music video for a second. They should create an online show called The Stoned View.
In case you didn't make it as far as I did, here's the TB;DW (Too Boring, Didn't Watch) synopsis...
The lady in the middle who can barely keep her eyes open – Dody Sullivan – helped Isaac Caviness lie about the vote totals. She knew the numbers they were tossing out every Sunday night were total bullshit. Instead of alerting people to this weeks or months ago, she played along until the very last second, and then, when it became obvious that the group would miss their mark, she jumped ship, played an identity card, and blamed it all on Isaac Caviness.
For the most part, Isaac seems like a good guy to blame. A few hours after Dody and her friends booted him from the Facebook page and posted the video, he gathered up his Honest Amish bodyguards and posted this long, rambling, stoned monstrosity:
First of all, I don't think there are any THC limits on the weed Isaac smokes. I think my eyes look the same way whenever I find myself eating ice cream and watching Rick and Morty. Also, pro tip – the next time you try to justify the lies you told to volunteers, the press and angry bearded men, don't invite the angry bearded men to set next to you. They may give you dirty looks or distant wary stares. Take the safe approach and write fake death threats to yourself for sympathy.
Anyway, I guess this means that the odds are pretty low that SQ 797 and SQ 798 make the 2020 ballot. That's not 100% a bad thing. First of all, do we want amateur hour losers like these folks writing language for our laws? I have no problem with marijuana or people using it, but yikes, at least take a break in the afternoon! Plus, we also have the most liberal medical marijuana law in the country about to go into effect. I guess we can wait a couple extra years for recreational.