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Electric Scooters Invade Downtown OKC

11:02 AM EDT on August 3, 2018

We have some sad news to report, Moles. Yesterday morning, 40 motorized Bird scooters popped up in various hot spots in and around downtown OKC, leaving local citizens, city workers and the local media confused and disoriented.

If you're not familiar with these two-wheeled parasites, check out this report from Vice News. It chronicles how the electric scooter sharing craze has grown from a strange millennial idea into a mainstream disruptive annoyance. Everyone in San Francisco who doesn't eat avocado toast for breakfast seems to hate them.

Here are some details of the OKC program via KOKH:

A new undocked scooter service is now in Oklahoma City, bringing with it some controversy.

When your destination is a little too far to walk, but not quite far enough to drive, you can now ride scooters through Oklahoma City, and locals seem to like the idea.

Nicholas Hampson said, "I like them. They're really cool. They're really easy to use."

Most people seem to like the idea of the new dockless motorized scooters that a company called Bird dropped off in Oklahoma City Thursday morning.

"You just use the app and scan them and you can get around down town pretty easily," Hampson said.

That's pretty cool. Nothing seems more fun than a bunch hooligans and scalawags zipping their way through OKC's streets, sidewalks and railroad tracks on two-wheeled motorized devices. That won't be annoying or anything. I'm already looking forward to writing about the first time a person on a scooter gets run over by the new street car while trying to navigate the 10th and Hudson roundabout.

"Dockless motorized scooters" are kind of like 2013 Uber, only more dangerous to use while drunk. When they launch in a market, they tend to ignore any existing rules and regulations (if there are any.) That appears to be the case here.

The scooters also come with rules, and city employees say Bird doesn't have a revocable permit, which is required by current ordinances.

The city told Fox 25 that they only found out about the new service when one of Bird's competitors contacted them.

Now, the city says they are “Working on an ordinance regarding dockless bicycle/scooter sharing, but has not yet been introduced to the city council for consideration".

Assistant city manager Laura Johnson says the city is still evaluating its response.

It looks like David Holt's first big decision is finally here. To scoot or not to scoot.

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