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8 Weirdest Metro Topix.com Forums

5:51 AM EDT on July 16, 2018

Good July morning, my fellow Oklahomans! Doesn’t it feel good to wake up in the greatest country on earth? There are few other nations that allow as much freedom as the good ole U S of A. And I think Oklahoma is one of the freest of the states!

Though being Oklahomans gives us such coveted rights as semiautomatic gun ownership, the right to vote on what I guess was a fake medical marijuana initiative, and the choice to refuse liquor sales on Sundays, there is a God-given right that Oklahomans love to use more: Freedom of Speech. And what better place to exercise that freedom than Topix.com. To help you find your own group of co-ruminators, I have scoured the depths of the website and used my own free speech on this here blog post to bring you the 8 weirdest metro topix forums!

Public Inquiry

Topix is a great place to get the grassroots facts. Jaiden88 knew that when he asked this question. Throughout my time living in the OKC metro, I have seen exactly as many aliens as I have parachute stunts. Therefore, I can confidently say there is equal probability that either occurred that day. I am sorry I couldn’t be of more assistance, Jaiden88. If anyone can answer this question, feel free to respond here because no one else has.

Insightful Comments

Often what you find on the local Topix forums are links to local news stories with 2 to 347 comments filled with witty banter, overt bigotry, and spelling and grammar mistakes that make the average TLO contributor look like a Rhodes Scholar. And much like TLO posts, some comments in the Topix news forums can also offer insightful opinions on current events. But not this one.

Q & As

I have to give props to Sarah from Sheperdsville, Kentucky. Not only does her headline ask a catchy and clickable question. But by reaching out to Oklahomans instead of those in her native state, she definitely searched the right place for insider info about routine female federal probation drug screenings! That’s because the female incarceration rate is so high in Oklahoma, you can basically assume that every woman you meet in the state has been to prison and be correct more times than not.

Missed Connections

Sometimes Topix is also a great missed connections tool! For example, Curious in Norman asked if anybody knew the stripper from Playhouse named “Star” or "something like it." Of course someone else from Norman knew exactly who Curious was talking about. Update: The stripper’s name was Superstar.

More Insightful Comments

You know how I said some Topix news forum comments offer insightful opinions on current events? This ain’t one of them either.

Political Predictions

What is often scarier than the site’s overall 2nd grade writing ability is commenters’ scarily accurate premonitions. Though these predictions are few and far between, they are uncanny. I mean, who aside from this username Trumpet fellow in 2016 would’ve thought that Scott Pruitt would be the one to run the EPA into the ground?

Public Complaints

Topix is really the best place to anonymously air grievances with other like-minded individuals who are also of sound mind and not at all Russian bots. Take the user Sick of It, for example. They found validation in their hatred for the Edmond train horn. But as a current Edmondite, I’ve found the price of kale at the farmers' market and lack of parking at Target more annoying. Maybe I should get on Topix and complain about it.

Truth in Journalism

Here’s that insightful opinion on current events we’ve all been looking for! I don't know what it's in reference to, but I am not going to argue it.

Topix is where everyone can live out their dreams of being drunk uncles. Follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek

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