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Cal’s Corner: Analyzing The Great Primary Election of 2018

6:32 AM EDT on June 29, 2018

It's never too late, or often, to beat a dead horse – or losing politicos – so let's get right to it!

For those of you who might remember Tuesday, it was a very exciting election night. In a cliffhanger Republican gubernatorial contest, Light Gov Todd Lamb, endorsed by Donald Trump Jr, most of the oil industry, many legislators, but not Governor Mary Fallin, finished third. With her basement dwelling approval ratings, had Queen Mary nurtured her Little Lamb he probably would have dropped to sixth.

Former OKC Mayor Mick 'Tune In At Ten' Cornett and Tulsa Gateway Mortgage mogul Kevin 'Stiff' Stitt, father of six, finished 1-2. This sets up a classic Turnpike Battle of Who-Can-Attract-The-Most-Old-White-Rural Lamb Voters. Majority of the dudes will go for sports nut Cornett, the country gals flip their wigs over Stiff Stitt because he is so pretty, and productive. You know. Generates a lot of mortgages.

Statewide down ballot races will mostly to be settled in the August runoff when only paid consultants, close relatives of the candidates themselves and fervent backers of SQ 788 show up again to vote – the latter group forgetting it passed in June.

Speaking of that green goddess, which received landslide level support in the primary, just what does it say about our state, the buckle of the bible belt, home to more churches than chiggers, where The Oklahoma Standard is a casino on every corner?  It says we're a little bit nutty, a little bit slutty and a whole bunch hypocritical.

However the really, really big story of the election was the ass-whoopin taken by anti-tax House Republican legislators, especially members of the self-described Platform Caucus. These 19 ninnies  promised their loyalty to DC swamp swimmer Grover Norquist and said they wouldn't vote to raise revenue even if their grannies' lives depended on it, which they have. Or their kids' education. Thanks to a historic revolt led by teachers, students, progressives, and people who passed 8th grade math, only one, maybe two, of these 19 nimrods has a chance to retain their voting privileges for the 2019 legislative session.

This house cleaning was even more thorough, useful and effective than that delivered by the awful chalky stuff one has to drink the night before a colonoscopy, but serves the same purpose.

Simultaneously, the honorable state senate suffered the loss of Nichols Hills doctor Ervin Yen, champion of, among other things, vaccinating children. In response to such heresy, his primary opponent, Joe Howell, received a maximum contribution of $5,000 from Oklahomans for Vaccine and Health Choice PAC.  Dr Yen, like most members of the upper body, did vote for HB1010XX, the nearly $500 million dollar tax increase package but was the only incumbent to lose in the first round of voting.

Morale of that story? Friday Land's Beautiful People will tolerate extracting a few more shillings from their high-dollar designer purses and bulging billfolds, but push to poke their kids with disease dampening vaccines? Look out! That's a 20th century miracle gone too far left in the 21st.

In closing, I think I've covered everything relevant in today's politics. Republican governor's race, down ballot do nothings, the most important state question since the one that allowed Oklahoma to exist, extinct house and senate elephants.

Oh, I forgot about the Democrats. Sorry. Force of habit.

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TLO Political Insider Cal Hobson is allegedly a former State Senator. He's too old for Twitter.

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