The state of Oklahoma is getting so repeatedly schtupped by our brazen lawmakers that they might as well turn on a video camera, record it and sell it down at DW’s in Texas for drifters, lonely truckers and other people who haven't heard of the Internet.
To help our lawmakers get started on this endeavor, Patrick and I came up with a list of possible porn star stage names for Oklahoma lawmakers. At the very least, Oklahoma students and teachers will know how to address letters as they continue to take a pounding in the classroom:
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Real Name: Charles McCall
Porn Star Name: Chucky McBalls
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Real Name: Jason Dunnington
Porn Star Name: Jack Bearington
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Real Name: Randy Bass
Porn Star Name: Grandy Ass
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Real Name: Carol Bush
Porn Star Name: Carrie N. Bush
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Real Name: Josh Breechen
Porn Star Name: Jack Breacher
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Real Name: Jason Murphey
Porn Star name: Private Stickey
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Real Name: J.J. Dossett
Porn Star Name: J.J. Duzzitt
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Real Name: Elise Hall
Porn Star Name: Hot Wife Chloe
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Real Name: Scott Inman
Porn Star Name: Scooter Inaman
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Real Name: Lonnie Paxton
Porn Star Name: Lonnie Packin’
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Real Name: Kevin Matthews
Porn Name: Uncle Bendover
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Real Name: Mike Ritze
Porn Star Name: Professor Cloitus
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Real Name: Rhonda Baker
Porn Star Name: Ginger Pearlz
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Real Name: Dave Rader
Porn Star Name: Dave Azzraider
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Real Name: Emily Virgin
Porn Star Name: Emily Virgin
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Real Name: Darcy Jeck
Porn Star Name: Darcy Jerken
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Real Name: Donnie Condit
Porn Name: Dumbo Spankadocious
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Did your favorite Oklahoma lawmaker not make the list? Give us your porn star names in the comments.