Yesterday afternoon, our friends at Non Doc took a break from publishing think pieces about the lack of artisanal cheese choices for welfare recipients to let everyone know that State Rep Mark McBride – one of the key henchmen of our oil overlords – discovered a tracking device on his vehicle:
The Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation has opened an inquiry into alleged stalking of Rep. Mark McBride (R-Moore) that could be turned over to the state’s attorney general or the Oklahoma County district attorney for consideration of criminal prosecution.
After finding a remote-tracking device attached to his pickup truck in December, McBride called Moore police and ultimately filed a lawsuit in Oklahoma County District Court...
McBride — known as a defender of oil-and-gas industry tax incentives and a critic of the wind industry — said he found the device underneath his truck Dec. 4 after being told that a private investigator had been contacted about following him. McBride said he saw a pickup truck parked behind his property and, later that night, decided to search his truck as friends had suggested.
“I crawl under my truck, and I find this damn thing,” McBride said when asked about the lawsuit. “I see this box, and I’m like, ‘What in the hell?'”
He called the police? That's boring. I would have at least had some fun with it first and tossed the device on the Bricktown Water Taxi:
"What have we learned about Mr. McBride?"
"He's a sad lonely man who spends a lot of time in Bricktown."
Obviously, the question everyone wants to know is who put the tracking device on McBride's car? Law enforcement is naturally being secretive about it, so here are some of my educated guesses:
Mark McBride's former employees.
Back in 2015, McBride left a voicemail to one of his former employees threatening to use his power as an elected official to "have everybody up your ass." Who knows, maybe one of those former employees wanted the power of knowledge about McBride's whereabouts. For every asshole reaction, there's usually an equal and opposite asshole reaction.
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Oil Overlords
Just like a controlling parent, I'm sure our oil overlords always want to know the whereabouts of the political minions they pay to do their dirty work. Hopefully they purchased the tracking devices through a PAC so we'll never know who authorized it.
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The Wind Industry
Mark McBride hates clean, renewable energy so much that he once introduced legislation that would require all sex offenders to live within 1,000 feet of a windmill. Okay, he hasn't done that yet – I think he plans on doing that during this legislative session – but you can't blame wind energy supporters for wanting some dirt on the guy who would like to tear down all windmills in Oklahoma.
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Scott Inman
I've talked to some people at the capitol who believe a private investigator was hired to turn up some dirt on Scott Inman and succeeded, which is why the lawmaker dropped out of the governor's race to "reprioritize" his life. Who knows. Maybe Inman decided to fight fire with fire and see what dirt he could come up with on other lawmakers?
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Mark McBride
Not surprisingly, McBride is using this opportunity as a victim to add another crime to Oklahoma statutes:
McBride said the bill he is filing will amend stalking statutes specifically to prohibit using GPS or other monitoring devices to track a person’s movement without his or her consent. He said the language of the bill will be similar to HB 1516 that stalled in a conference committee in 2015.
Yeah right, do you think the oil overlords will let that happen? They want to keep their options open.
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Anyway, those are my guesses. What are yours?
