On Tuesday night, when early voting returns were favoring teen dream Roy Moore in the Alabama senate race, I started formulating a blog post in my head titled "Dear Normal People of Alabama. Oklahoma feels your pain."
The gist was that Oklahoma was one of the few states that would probably elect a pedophile over a moderate Democrat, and that the normal people of Oklahoma feel normal Alabamians' pain. I was going to encourage them to hang in there, put up the good fight, and if all else fails, follow the normal Oklahoman tradition of leaving their state.
Fortunately, I never had to write that article. As we know, Roy Moore lost the race by the slimmest of margins, which Democrats are hysterically interpreting as a major victory. Now instead of telling the people of Alabama that I feel their pain, I find myself asking a question:
First of all, you don't have to look any farther than Jim Inhofe – and other elected officials – to see that Oklahomans enjoy voting slimy weaselly ilk into office. Like college football, chicken fried steak and watching the sunset from your trailer park, it's a tried and true Oklahoma tradition.
Second, Oklahoma doesn't have as many black voters as Alabama. They're the ones who basically said "enough is enough," mobilized and made sure Howdy "Pedophile" Doody didn't make it to the US Senate. What demographic would have done that in Oklahoma? I'm a Johnnie's first time caller and I'll take your answer off the air.
And third, I don't think Derplahomans have that big of a problem with pedophilia. We lead the country in teen pregnancy for a reason, and our majority conservative Christian (irony) voters always place ideology over decency. For example, if you were to give State Rep. John Bennett the choice of having his teenage daughter date a 32-year-old white Christian assistant district attorney or a 17-year-old American Muslim with straight As, who do you think he would pick? Sadly, I think we all know the answer.
Anyway, I thought it would be fun to post a very scientific poll to see where TLO readers stand on the issue. Would Roy Moore have won in Oklahoma? Vote below: