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News 9 found Mama Stockyards…

8:30 AM EDT on August 15, 2017

We like to criticize the local TV media on this site, but you have to give them credit for finding quirky characters with memorable names to interview for breaking news segments. They're experts at it. They've uncovered gems like Sweet Brown, Sir John Michael, and now this newcomer, Mama Stockyards:

Yep, Mama Stockyards. I may be wrong, but I think she was once married to Papa Wheelie from House of Kawasaki.

Sadly, Mama Stockyard's story isn't as fun as a escaping an apartment fire while searching for cold pop or sunbathing in the nude on a school bus when police raid your landlord's marijuana farm. She was the witness to a recent home invasion murder on the city's southwest side.

Here's the full News 9 report: - Oklahoma City, OK - News, Weather, Video and Sports |

(Update: News 9 has a screwy embed code that doesn't work, so you'll need to watch it on their site.)

Now that we have a President to handle these matters, I'm trying to get out of the business of poking fun of victims who recently witnessed heinous crimes. As a result, I'm following the company line on this – if you know anything about the case, which in all honesty would be kind of weird, please contact Crime Stoppers.

Also, if you find yourself on Agnew anytime soon and see Mama Stockyards walking around the area, why don't you be a good chap and get her some Cattleman's? She's been through a lot and could probably use a pick me up, and / or a steak and salad with famous dressing that tastes like mayonnaise. Hell, maybe you'll even get to meet the best man in Oklahoma City. It's time for the Ogle Mole Network to pay it forward.

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