One of the strangest things about November's election – outside of our nation electing a narcissistic con man reality show "businessman" to be the 45th president – is that I voted on the winning side of every state question.
Knowing what we know about Oklahoma voters, it kind of freaked me out. Was I becoming a Derplahoman? For the next couple of weeks, I closely monitored my condition, watching for all the tell-tale signs like an increased hatred for minorities, meat sweats, a general deterioration of critical thinking skills, rotting teeth, lower reading comprehension, and worst of all, a growing fondness for country music. Fortunately, none of those conditions developed, so I think I'm in the clear.
Anyway, two of the questions that passed in November were SQ 780 and SQ 781. According to Ballotpedia, they would help reform our criminal justice system by reclassifying "certain property offenses and simple drug possession as misdemeanor crimes" and "redistributing the money saved to counties to fund rehabilitation of criminals."
Overall, they were logical, common sense, bipartisan reforms designed to make this state better and more compassionate to those in need, and as a result, mouth-breathing Derplahoman legislators like Ralph Shortey (pictured above) want to totally destroy them.
Via NewsOK.com: