One of the strangest things about November's election – outside of our nation electing a narcissistic con man reality show "businessman" to be the 45th president – is that I voted on the winning side of every state question.
Knowing what we know about Oklahoma voters, it kind of freaked me out. Was I becoming a Derplahoman? For the next couple of weeks, I closely monitored my condition, watching for all the tell-tale signs like an increased hatred for minorities, meat sweats, a general deterioration of critical thinking skills, rotting teeth, lower reading comprehension, and worst of all, a growing fondness for country music. Fortunately, none of those conditions developed, so I think I'm in the clear.