Over the weekend, I got a weird email from an Ogle Mole inquiring about a photo they saw on NewsOK.com. It got my quick, undivided attention...
I'm sure you've already seen this picture [on NewsOK.com]. I think that is Patrick shaking Trump's hand. Do you think the Oklahoman knew this and is trying to stick it to you?
What? A pic of me shaking THE Donald Trump's hand? I quickly hopped over to NewsOK.com to find the photo in question. Check out what I discovered in an article chronicling all of Trump's visits to Oklahoma...
Holy shit! Yeah, that's me shaking Trump's little hand at the Oklahoma State Fair! For what it's worth, he was asking me about the empty Miller Lite bottle-can by my feet. He wanted me to make sure nobody recycles it, because you know, recycling is for losers.
Before you launch a boycott of this site, let me attempt to explain what happened...
Back in the fall of 2015, Trump gave a speech at The Oklahoma State Fair during his first campaign visit to Sooner state. Marisa and I covered the event because, well, we had to. Trump? Fried Food?? Fair People??? As I mentioned at the time, missing it would be like turning down tickets to watch Emily Sutton and Hipster Boo Boo mud wrestle. We had to be there.
I chronicled the whole experience in an essay on the site. Here's what I had to say about the unplanned handshake with the man who would eventually become the most powerful, insecure, passive aggressive adolescent crybaby in the world.
You can’t see it because I choked and forgot I was filming, but Donald Trump briefly shook my hand. Even though I don’t care for Trump all that much, it made me giddy. I felt like I was David Payne stuck in a grinder. THE Donald Trump, the most hated and loved man in America, gave me a billion dollar handshake. It was cooler than a watered-down beer from the Jamaican Me Crazy stand.
Now before you judge me, let me clarify that I think Trump the presidential candidate is a lunatic. He’s a classic nut job and has no business being the most powerful person in the world. But Donald Trump the entertainer running for president is kind of fun to watch. I like how he’s shaking up our political arena. I laughed at the personal attacks he tossed at his political opponents. It’s a side of politics we’ve never seen before. It’s antagonistic and, at times, pretty damn funny. It’s also extremely offensive and I understand why some people hate him.
Once again, that was from 2015. At the time, Trump was still a circus act. I don't think any normal person seriously thought he would win the presidency. His disapproval ratings were too high. As the GOP field thinned, voters would turn to more viable candidates. America wouldn't be stupid enough to elect a maniacal celebrity con man president!
As we now know, never underestimate the stupidity of America.
Here are a couple of additional notes:
1. Although I despise and loathe Trump, I think it's cool this photo exists. It may come in handy when I'm interrogated by the thought police in a couple of years.
2. Seriously, he really does have tiny hands.
3. Kudos to The Oklahoman on the troll job. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but I liked it. Maybe next week they'll publish a pic of me smiling as I hold a door open for Mary Fallin at the Santee Lounge during an OU football game. I'd like to see that photograph, too.
