A man who reportedly claims to be from the future where everyone is dead was arrested after assaulting an employee and stealing chicken and bacon from a metro fast-food restaurant.
Witnesses reported that a man, identified as Dante Rashad Anderson, 36, walked into a Carl's Jr. and screamed at employees to give him food. When he was denied, Anderson went to Arby's in the 9000 block of South Western Avenue and demanded food, too.
The victim told police that Anderson jumped on top of the counter, jumped off, walked to the kitchen and grabbed her by the arms, forcing her against a wall, the report said. He then grabbed a handful of bacon and chicken and walked out.
I'm very pessimistic about the future of the human race. I seriously think we'll be lucky to make it another 50 years, and this guy isn't doing a whole lot to help calm those fears.
That being said, at least we apparently live in a future without any Arby's! We know this because he didn't steal any Curly Fries. Those are the only things worth stealing from Arby's. They taste great when dipped in Horsey Sauce.
After the Arby's experience, Dante decided he wanted to punish his colon and visit a Taco Mayo:
Police later found Anderson lying on the ground near Taco May in the 8800 block of South Western Avenue. He told officers that he took the food because he was hungry and nobody helps him, the report said.
"I got bacon and chicken and I scared the lady," Anderson reportedly said to police. "She thought I was going to hurt her, but I was not. I was just hungry and wanted some food. That is what I have to do to get food.
"I knew I was going to jail for doing this, but no one wants to help me out."
Anderson also admitted to kicking multiple vehicles outside the restaurant.
"I am from planet Earth 2016 and am four years advanced on you, and you guys are always trying (to) kill me," the report said. "On my planet Earth, everyone is dead and I walked here from there."
Wait a second. He's from the year 2016, but also claims he's four years advanced on us? I bet there's something wrong with his flux capacitor and he planned to go back to 2012. No wonder he was so pissed.