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Ogle Madness IX: Sweet Sixteen, Midwest Region

We've got some ugly match-ups to be decided this morning. Are Teachers more important than Kevin Durant? Does Chicken Fried Steak have what it takes to rumble past Earthquakes? Is anyone willing to throw some money down and make this interesting?

Sorry, my bookie was just calling. If I don't pay up all that money I owe after the Hipster Prince of Edmond shit the bed in the first round. Ray Ray is gonna take it out of my kneecaps. As long as he doesn't break my hands, I'll keep these sweet OMIX posts rolling...

(1) Kevin Durant vs. (5) Teachers

(2) Chicken Fried Steak vs. (3) Earthquakes


(1) Kevin Durant vs. (5) Teachers

kevin durant

(1) Kevin Durant

Round One: Defeated State Budget Crisis

Round Two: Defeated Abigail Ogle

Who He Is: The new guy in the Sonic commercials

Biggest Strength: Can drop buckets on any living animal, mineral, or Terminator

Biggest Weakness: Expiring contract


okla ed rally 13

(5) Teachers

Round One: Defeated Oklahoman Editorial Board

Round Two: Defeated Skirvin Bedbugs

Who They Are: Sad, underpaid individuals that are responsible for thousands of children

Biggest Strength: Can ruin generations of Oklahomans through their cynicism

Biggest Weakness: Will eventually move out-of-state/commit suicide

(2) Chicken Fried Steak vs. (3) Earthquakes

joleen chaney emily sutton earthquake 2

(3) Earthquakes

Round One: Defeated Carol Hefner

Round Two: Defeated Michell Dobyne

What They Are: Seismic reactions triggered by wastewater injection

Biggest Strength: Could knock your whole motherfucking house down

Biggest Weakness: Hasn’t spawned an Okie-centric “Twister” style movie yet


(2) Chicken Fried Steak

Round One: Defeated Galleria Furniture Girl

Round Two: Defeated David Boren

What It Is: Not chicken, barely a steak, all the way delicious

Biggest Strength: Smothered in gravy

Biggest Weakness: Leading cause of heart disease in Oklahoma

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