You survived another weekend. Maybe you're back at work today, idling through the day by reading fine websites such as The Lost Ogle. Maybe you're one of those guys who got the March Madness $200 Vasectomy Special and have the rest of the week off to ice your jewels and watch basketball. Or, if you're like me, you've been working all weekend and it's just another day.
Whatever your situation, today brings the start of the second round of this thrilling OGLE MADNESS IX tournament. Here's the updated bracket if you like updated brackets. Click the image for a bigger look. Sadly, no perfect brackets remain:
This morning, you'll be voting on some tough match-ups, like Mayor Mick vs NW 23rd & Penn. Personally, I would love to see Mick making friendly small-talk with the people smoking crack behind 7-Eleven, but this is a battle and not a negotiation.
(1) Emily Sutton vs (9) David Payne
(4) Mayor Mick vs (5) NW 23rd & Penn Intersection
(3) Lacey Swope vs (6) Edna's Lunch Boxes
(2) Olivia Munn vs (7) Oklahoma City Energy
Go Vote!
(1) Emily Sutton vs (9) David Payne
(1) Emily Sutton
Round One: Deafeated SAE Frat Boys
Who She Is: Oklahoma’s Weather Princess
Biggest Strength: Calling out internet meteorologists
Biggest Weakness: Pranked too easily
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(9) David Payne
Round One: Defeated Meg Alexander
Who He Is: News 9’s Weather Hefe
Biggest Strength: Futuristic storm chasing power board
Biggest Weakness: Prone to spontaneous weather boners
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(4) Mayor Mick vs (5) NW 23rd & Penn Intersection
(4) Mayor Mick
Round One: Defeated Abortion Abolitionists
Who He Is: Taco Bell spokesperson/city leader
Biggest Strength: Winning smile, not a far-right lunatic
Biggest Weakness: Lost an election to Mary Fallin
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(5) NW 23rd and Penn Intersection
Round One: Defeated Regular Jim Traber
What It Is: An awful place for your car to break down
Biggest Strength: Possesses a large army of crazed junkies willing to do anything; 24-hour McDonald’s
Biggest Weakness: Always smells like grease and cheap menthol cigarettes
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(3) Lacey Swope vs (6) Edna's Lunch Boxes
(3) Lacey Swope
Round One: Defeated Random Median On Western
Who She Is: Emily Sutton’s arch nemesis
Biggest Strength: Deadly with a bow
Biggest Weakness: Gets flustered when she feels a big one
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(6) Edna’s Lunch Boxes
Round One: Defeated Harold Hamm
What they are: A delicious concoction of amaretto, orange juice, and cheap beer
Biggest Strength: Gets you drunk
Biggest Weakness: A little too drunk
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(2) Olivia Munn vs (7) Oklahoma City Energy
(2) Olivia Munn
Round One: Defeated Video Vigilante
Who She Is: PC North grad-turned-Hollywood megababe
Biggest Strength: Cos-play, fighting skills, dates an NFL quarterback
Biggest Weakness: Too many mouth-breathing nerds for fans
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(7) Oklahoma City Energy
Round One: Defeated Panhandlers
Who They Are: Oklahoma’s first professional soccer team
Biggest Strength: Really good at running, 0% body fat
Biggest Weakness: Insists that they play “football”
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