Skip to Content
Everything Else

Watch out for the “Earthquake Research Van”

10:01 AM EST on February 9, 2016

earthquake research van

It looks like Austin Holland finally found someone to buy his "Earthquake Research" van. Unfortunately, the van's new owner is worrying neighbors, local authorities, and even News 9.

Logan County Sheriff's Office Warns Against 'Earthquake Research Van'

The Logan County Sheriff’s office is warning against an "earthquake research van" recently spotted near Crescent, Oklahoma.  

The van has writings on its side, “Earthquake Research.” It has been seen on Cooksey Road south of Crescent parked on private property.

Apparently, a neighbor confronted the driver of the van late last week, and that driver sped off abruptly.

Well, that sums up our state's response to the earthquake crisis pretty well. Now whenever people see a beat up "Earthquake Research" van near their property, they automatically assume the vehicle is suspicious and part of a scam or gimmick. Thanks Mary Fallin!

That being said, the van did look shady. I bet is was just a front to steal copper out of seismographs. If so, the owner of the van is doing it all wrong. Although copper is lucrative, there are some issues. Check them out:

First of all, if he or she is really going to pretend to be an earthquake researcher, they should be hanging out at Lake Arcadia. As News 9 has informed us in the past, that's the real cause of Oklahoma's earthquakes.

Second, they have to remember they're in Oklahoma. Words like "research" scare and frighten most of our simpleton citizens. If they want to develop a good earthquake scam, they should turn the mini-van into a Dominator, call themselves Earthquake Chasers, and then charge people a flat fee to chase and feel earthquakes. Perhaps they can even get an inside man at Sandridge, New Dominion or even the Corporation Commission to tell them in advance when the earthquakes will hit. Business will boom!

Third, there already is a totally legal and legitimate way to profit from the Oklahoma earthquake crisis. It's called "earthquake insurance."

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter