Each year, some fancy group of political brown-nosers called "Friends of the Oklahoma Governor's Mansion" team up with Mathis Brothers to present an Oklahoma Holiday Ornament. The ornaments are such a big deal and raise so much money that Mary Fallin pitches them on television.
Here's the commercial for 2015:
That's great. I like how Mary nods her head in agreement after speaking each word. You can tell she was proud to read the teleprompter correctly. I bet it only took her five tries to get it right, which is more than an Oklahoma third grader gets to pass their reading test. Also, if she's doing a Mathis Brothers commercials, shouldn't she be holding a small dog or child?
Anyway, as you can see, this year's ornament is of the Oklahoma State Capitol, which is probably the dumbest thing in the world. Who wants that crumbling dysfunctional derplahoman dystopia hanging from their Christmas tree? I wonder how authentic it is. Is the back crisscrossed with yellow construction tape? Does it include the 10 Commandments Monument? Does it leak and smell like sewage? These are the questions that must be answered!
Instead of making the ornament something stupid like the State Capitol, I think they should have paid homage to the actual Governor's Mansion. Perhaps something amazing and awesome like this...
I'd like to thank a Mole named Roger for emailing this to me yesterday, because it literally made me LOL. It's amazing, and best of all, it doesn't violate any of those pesky Capital Medical Center codes.
But in all seriousness, what do we have to do to get this ornament made for Christmas 2016? Will it still be relevant ? Should we get a Kickstarter going? I really do think we can round-up enough $20 donations to make this a reality. We can sell them at Bob Mills and have my friend Elizabeth do the commercials. She does have experience.