By now I’m sure you’ve heard the story about the worker at the GW Exotic Animal Park in Wynnewood who got her arm nearly torn off by a tiger. If not, you obviously don't follow the local TV news. They treated it like the story of the century.
From KFOR.com:
WYNNEWOOD, Okla. – An Oklahoma zoo worker whose arm was bitten by a tiger will underwent surgery Monday morning.
This time, it will be a minor one to clean out all her wounds.
The woman injured was Kelci Saffery originally from Honolulu, Hawaii. She is 27-year-old.
The tiger bite happened Saturday morning around 10:00 at the GW Exotic Animal Park in Wynnewood.
The tiger’s owner, Joe Schreibvogel, said the employee stuck her arm through the tiger cage and was unable to get it back out before the tiger got to her.
On behalf of everyone at The Lost Ogle, we'd like to extend our best wishes to Kelci Saffrey. Hopefully she makes a full recovery and is never attacked by a wild animal ever again. On a positive note, she'll have a great story to tell on her next Match.com date.
With that out-of-the-way, let’s get to the topic of this post. That would be eccentric GW Exotic Animal Park owner Joe "Exotic" Schreibvogel. He's made the media rounds and conducted damage control after the attack. The guy is one of a kind. How the local media has been able to take him seriously and not just laugh at him is amazing. He's essentially the Biker Fox of southern Oklahoma. The only difference is that he raises tigers instead of raccoons. Just check out the photos from his Joe Exotic Facebook Page:
And that's the guy who owns all the tigers in Wynnewood that occasionally try to eat people. Nothing weird or strange or concerning about that...right?
Okay, so maybe it's a little concerning, but who are we to judge. Just because the guy's self-absorbed and likes to unzip his pants and pose for PG-rated erotica doesn't mean he's not capable of running an animal sanctuary filled with deadly predators. Okay, maybe it does. I don't know. I think I'm going to take a bath now.
Here are more pics. They are provided without commentary:
Okay, I lied about the no commentary thing. Can someone from DHS go rescue that rooster? While they're at it, can they burn Joe's boxer shorts?
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Yeah, I'm going to stop right there. They get worse. Trust me.
Normally, this is the part of the post where we roast the guy to pieces, but not today. We really don't have to. The material just writes itself.
For example, Joe Exotic also has an online store where you can buy his "Tiger King" branded merchandise. If you haven't done your white elephant Christmas shopping yet, I'd suggest you check it out.
Joe Exotic sells items like:
Something tells me this guy would love having his nuts in your mouth. And yes, I know cashews are not technically nuts.
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Pink flower not included.
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Let's be honest, who still doesn't use a mouse pad. They are all the rage. In 10 - 15 years, maybe he'll add iPhone 5 cases to the catalog.
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These condoms are specially designed to make that special someone "roar"... or chew your hand off. One of two.
Joe Exotic is also an aspiring country music singer, and at his online store you can buy some of his music. This is the CD cover for his hit song "I Saw A Tiger." I think it was the soundtrack for the porn parody "The Jungle Date Book."
Here's the music video. When you watch it, please remember that a) it's real and b) this man oversees a zoo.
Those poor poor tigers. Hopefully the Caesar of the group rises up and frees all the other animals.
Joe makes other videos, too. Lot's of them. I sent Marisa over to check out his YouTube page. Here are a few of her favorites, along with her commentary:
Joe Exotic, you say? I guess all pickup artists need hobbies and day jobs, and it looks like Joe’s hobby is ligers. It makes you wonder if the employees are drawn in by the affection of the animals, or if the animals are drawn in by all his negging and douchey pickup lines. Maybe it’s because Joe looks like he knows all the words to every Creed song. Who can say, really?
Thus far, we’ve pretty much concluded that Joe Exotic is probably the love child of Biker Fox and Criss Angel, and probably the personal stylist for quite a few deejays on the Katt. I think I speak for the majority of the women in the metro when I say that we need to head on down to Wynnewood. Seriously, somewhere around the ninth minute of the above video, they’re in a sweet limo. And what lady doesn’t love a rockstar?
Sweet handcuff belt, bro. And I like the swashbuckler boots. If I close my eyes, I can almost pretend you’re Westley from The Princess Bride. Almost.
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Anyway, that's it for our little profile on Joe Exotic. I would post more, but that bath water is getting cold. If you want to look for more stuff about the guy, feel free. When you do, keep in mind he owns tigers, lions and probably a guy dressed in a panda costume. Good times.
This post was originally published in October 2013.
