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Photo Essay: How to Enjoy a Perfect Day at The Oklahoma State Fair

9:31 AM EDT on September 17, 2015

Before we get to this article, I should probably break some site news.

After a solid seven-year run and one minute of deliberation over lunch at the I-240 Charleston's, we've decided to retire our Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest. Yeah, I know. Charleston's is a cliché place to grab lunch, but their soup and salad combo is quite delicious.

In all seriousness, this is kind of sad news. It's worse than taking home a carnie or eating a soggy corn dog! Okay, it's not that bad, but still, the contest was fun and we'll kind of miss it. We considered everything from "It's getting old" to "Let's pull a Seinfeld and quit while on top" to "It's time we finally appease the sensitivity police" in pulling the plug. Regardless of the reason, the contest felt like it had run its course like an old monorail.

Now don't worry. We'll keep the contest photos alive in our archives for future generations of Oklahomans to feel bad and guilty about enjoying. Who knows, maybe there's a future governor, attorney general or death row inmate in them. Also, it's not like you still can't share Oklahoma State Fair pics for us and for the world to see on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Even though we're not having a contest, I still wouldn't mind seeing the freak show. Send them to us.

Anyway, in honor of a series that has received 626,000 unique page views over the years – that's 2.06% of this website's lifetime traffic – I decided to do a mashup of some notable State Fair pics with simple step-by-step tips on how to enjoy a perfect day at the fair...

b_2014 OK State Fair Photo Contest 7

1. Flatten (or curl) your mullet.


eat pussy kids

2. Put on your nicest shirt for the kids.


Might as well make some jorts

3. Wear clothing that can easily be converted into jorts.

B 2013 OK State Fair - irony

4. Grab a bite to eat.


a_2014 OK State Fair Photo Contest 4

5. Check out all the new cars, especially the trunks.


a_2014 OK State Fair Photo Contest 2

6. Listen to some live music.


2012 State Fair Photo 17A

7. Get front row seats for a show.


B 2013 OK State Fair - AHHHHHHHHH

8. Breastfeed your child.


A 2013 OK State Fair - The Racists

9. Walk the midway.


a_2014 OK State Fair Photo Contest 15

10. Play a carnival game.


A 2013 OK State Fair - That poor bench

11.Violate a bench.


Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest- Boomer Sooner on my back

12. Get a tattoo.


13. Pull up your pants!


Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest - Harry McCracker

13a. Seriously, pull up your pants!



15. Drink a beer.


Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest - Stealing Third

15. Get some lovin'.



16. Smoke a cigarette.


b_2014 OK State Fair Photo Contest 5

17. Take a needed break.


B 2013 OK State Fair - long day

18. And then a nap.


the guardian

19. Wake up, drink a beer and scare small children.


beauty and the corn dog

20. Eat a corn dog or take home a carnie... just make sure neither one is soggy.

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