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Ode to Pizza Shuttle

pizza shuttle box

There are few foods that really compare to drunk foods. Nothing tastes so good as a pile of cheesy carbs that you ingest like a ravenous bear after you've had a few drinks. Sure, cheese fries are a good option here, but you generally have to be at a restaurant to get the kind that are worth having. Nachos are always great, but I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that Taco Bell is nobody's friend. We've all been betrayed too many times by that place. So, that leaves you one option.

Pizza is a glorious thing. But so many of the chains stop delivering at what people would term "a decent hour." So, what are you left with when it's midnight, you're drunk, and you need a pizza? If you're in Norman, you call Pizza Shuttle.

Pizza Shuttle is an institution that exists to serve both the incredibly broke and the overly wasted. The menu prices at once seem random, until you realize that they've been calculated so that with the addition of tax, everything comes out to a nice, round number. It's genius, really. Because when you call Pizza Shuttle, you're probably not in a state to do math.

What's special about Pizza Shuttle is not the pizza. Anyone who has eaten there will tell you. Generally, the crust may be a little undercooked, but hey, you don't expect perfection from a place that charges $10.86 for a large specialty pizza. Also, you know, they have a menu item called "shroomers" so not only do they know their target demographic, they're kind of letting you know who works there. In fact, for quite a while, the company's Facebook page stated quite clearly in the "About" section perhaps the most terrifying thing for a restaurant to every tell you: "We are alone with your food." Though, if you're calling Pizza Shuttle, you're past the point where something like that really matters to you.

But perhaps the best part of Pizza Shuttle is their website. I can't be sure, but I think it was created by the Braum's webmaster in 1998:

Pizza Shuttle

If you have a second, please click on their menu page. Then, enjoy the futurustuc little cursor. Seriously, it's probably the best web design for a local business, bar none.

So, with that background, I begin my ode:

Oh, Pizza Shuttle. You have been there for me with your large pizzas so many times. You are one of the few places that allows me to put both green and black olives on one pizza, and for that, I thank you. Your frosty fingers are the stuff that dreams are made of, and the Shuttle Spuds Supreme is like Heaven in a little aluminum dish. Sure, no one really knows when your delivery drivers will show up, and sometimes, they ask weird questions, like the dude who brought me a large gyros shuttle, and then asked if he could sniff the tree in my front yard. Who am I to say no? Sniff on, Pizza Shuttle delivery guy, sniff on.

And with that, I leave you. If you need me, I'll be waiting for Pizza Shuttle to bring me a large bacon cheeseburger pizza, an order of shuttle spuds and some cinnamon fingers.

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