I guess there are some city elections today…

Today is election day in Oklahoma City for residents who live in Wards 2, 6 and 8. If you don't know where your ward is located, check out the convenient map with the districts and boundaries. If you can't read maps, I'll try to describe them for you...

Ward 2: Diverse (for Oklahoma standards) area in Northwest OKC that basically covers the area between NW 23rd and The Village / Nichols Hills from Meridian to Broadway Extension.

Ward 6: This ward covers one thriving area (downtown) and one area that needs a little work (South Central Oklahoma City).

Ward 8: The guys running for this seat are an attorney, real estate agent and insurance salesman. Yeah, we'll just go ahead and call this the "white collar ward." Naturally, it encompasses the area in far Northwest Oklahoma City that most people probably consider to be Edmond.

Let's take a look at the candidates. I thought I'd break each one down and then give an endorsement. We'll start with Ward 2. The candidates are...

Ed Shadid, Spinal Surgeon

Hey, remember this guy? It's the rich doctor who ran for mayor last year. I like Ed because...

- The Chamber dislikes him

- The Oklahoman dislikes him

When you piss off those groups, you're probably doing something right.

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James Cooper, a college English and film instructor

I don't know about you, but I have a hard time voting for someone who looks a web designer in the eye and says "HEY! What if you had my head sticking out of circle?"

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Major Jemison, pastor

I like Major Jemison. For one, I like first names that double as a military rank. Second, he looks like he can tell a good story or two at a cigar bar.

That being said, why's he holding a pen and blank sheet of paper? Are we really supposed to believe that's how elected leaders get shit done? When's the last time one human being has written another human being a letter? Major Jemison needs to get on email.

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John Riley, a high school history teacher

Holy shit, how is this guy not running away in the polls? He's loves guns and serves in the national guard. As Steve Russell has shown, guns, service and being within 100 miles of Saddam Hussein when he was captured can get you far in Oklahoma politics.

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Ward 2 Endorsement: 

Ed Shadid

Once again, Ed's a cool dude and good for the city. We need someone on the City Council to represent the "other" people, challenge authority and refuse to be a rubber stamp for the establishment.

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Ward 6

Dario Alvarado, Entrepreneur 

I don't know if Dario is an "entrepreneur" or not, but based on the pic above, I bet that's what he tells girls at bars.

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Meg Salyer, president of Accel Financial Staffing

Meg is rich, connected, the incumbent, and will do whatever the powerful people in the city ask her to do. She's also the only woman running for election and/or serving on the council. I guess she decided to make up for that dubious stat when hiring people to join her team at Accel Financial Staffing:

In all seriousness, we need more women running for public office in Oklahoma City. At last check, women do makeup least 34% of Oklahoma City. I say we start a movement to draft Emily Sutton.

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Bob Waldrop, Oklahoma Food Cooperative President

I'm not sure I could vote for a guy who needs weekends off in December to be the Santa at Old Paris Flea Market.

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Ward 6 Endorsement: 

Bob Waldrop

This was a tough one, but I'm going with Bob just in case he's a real life wizard and can score me a cool owl.

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Ward 8

Steve Curry, Insurance Executive

That guy looks about as fun as a stack of calendar magnets. Cliff Paul thinks he's a dork.

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John Alan Ederer, Realtor 

Hey, it's a pic of the old man from The Giving Tree right before he cuts the tree down! Okay, that was kind of mean. I should have given a warning about the spoiler.

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Mark Stonecipher, Oil and gas attorney

Wow. He kind of looks like the Mathis Brothers salesman who actually "made it." I'm not sure what's more creepy--the terrifying boardroom grin or that you can't see his hands.

Also, why did he go to Joseph Mills instead of Olan Mills?

Ward 8 Endorsement: 

John Alan Ederer, Realtor 

Honestly, I bet these guys are all the same. I just want to know if Ederer will be tossing out Werther's Originals to people at city council meetings.

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Anyway, that's it. Go vote today. Look cool.