If you live in the year 2019 and are reading this post because you just googled some girl named "Amber Ellis" that you met a bar in Tulsa, put away your phone and run... run real fast.
In February 2015, Amber was arrested for attempting to bite off her boyfriend's penis and then smacking him in the head with a laptop. She did this because her boyfriend said she was "needy." I guess she showed him.
Via KJRH...
A night out drinking and an argument with his girlfriend nearly cost a Tulsa man his penis.
Officers responded to a Tulsa hospital early Thursday morning where a man claimed his girlfriend attacked him while he slept.
Amber Ellis was arrested for maiming and assault with a dangerous weapon.
According to the police report, the victim said he and his girlfriend were out drinking and began arguing while walking home "about how needy she had become." The couple verbally fought in the apartment until the victim told police Ellis stormed off, slamming the bedroom door.
Police say the victim fell asleep on the couch only to wake up to find Ellis "biting his (penis) off."
The victim told police he fought Ellis off but she hit him in the head with a laptop computer.
Once hospitalized, the victim received several stitches to the base of his penis and was treated for injuries to his head, face, neck, fingers and knee.
Ellis was taken into custody for an interview and ultimately booked into the Tulsa County Jail.
First of all, we did some checking and are happy to report that Aaron Tuttle is going to be just fine. He has a few stitches, bruises and needs a new laptop, but outside of that he should be okay and relatively normal in a few weeks. Get well, Aaron.
This story should remind men about a couple of important things...
1. Don't get involved with a crazy woman with teeth.
2. Never call a drunk girl "needy."
I've made both mistakes. Back when I was 23, I had to pick up a drunk crazy girlfriend from a bar in Midwest City. We stopped by the Taco Bell drive thru. As we were heading back to my place, she realized they didn't give her any Fire sauce. She wanted me to drive back and get her some. I refused, called her "needy," and before you knew it, I was being hit in the head with a bag of burritos. It hurts more than you think. I was pretty pissed off at the time, but in hindsight, I guess it could have been worse.
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