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This Derplahoman wants to eliminate marriage licenses in Oklahoma…

Todd Russ

We're only a few weeks away from the start of the 2014 2015 legislative session, and already some of the crazy is starting to sweep down the plains.

Yesterday, reported that Oklahoma State Rep. Todd Russ, pictured above in his 2014 "Funeral Home Operator" Halloween costume, wants to eliminate marriage licenses. Obviously, he feels this way because the government shouldn't have anything to do with something personal like marriage, unless of course, it can restrict who gets married.


Marriage licenses would become a thing of the past in Oklahoma under a bill filed by state Rep. Todd Russ.

The Cordell Republican says he wants to protect court clerks from having to issue licenses to same-sex couples. He doesn’t want these workers put in the position of having to condone or facilitate same-sex marriage.

Under his plan, a religious official would sign a couple’s marriage certificate, which would then be filed with the clerk. Marriages would no longer be performed by judges. If a couple did not have a religious official to preside over their wedding, they could file an affidavit of common law marriage.

“Marriages are not supposed to be a government thing anyway,” he said Wednesday.

You know what? If this is fair and simplifies the marriage process for Christina Fallin, then I'm all for it. The more waste and bureaucracy we can eliminate from government, the easier it will be to get quality Hipster Boo Boo material for this site. Now if only we can speed up the annulment and divorce process, we'll be good to go.

That being said, I do question why the fuck this is suddenly an issue. For over 100 years, our state has never really seemed to care about the local county clerks' opinions of heterosexual marriage. Whether they approved or disapproved of the people tying the knot, they still had to issue the license. If it didn't matter 100 years ago, why should it matter now?

Obviously, the answer to that question is Oklahoma is a land permeated by discriminatory assholes who think gay marriage is a sin and should be outlawed:

Same-sex marriage became legal in Oklahoma in October. That’s when the high court declined to review a federal court decision striking down a voter-approved ban on the practice.

It is now legal in 36 states and the District of Columbia. On Friday, the Supreme Court agreed to determine whether same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry.

In 2004, Oklahoma voters approved, 1,075,216 to 347,303, a constitutional amendment defining marriage as being between a man and a woman.

“Oklahoma voted overwhelmingly against same-sex marriage, and yet the Supreme Court stuck it down our throats,” Russ said.

Hey Einstein, if the Supreme Court was supposed to side with majority in every case, then we really wouldn't need a judicial system to ensure that our state and country's laws do not violate the U.S. Constitution. Sure, we'd still need courts to settle disputes and prosecute crimes, but otherwise, what's the point? The terrifying will of the majority would rule the land. Who cares if our constitutional rights are violated or not?

One final snippet:

He called his House Bill 1125 an example of “conscience legislation,” meant to allow people to exercise their religious values in good conscience. He compared it to Hobby Lobby’s case against the contraception mandate in the Affordable Care Act.

Yeah, comparing this to the Hobby Lobby case is a false analogy. At last check, Hobby Lobby is a privately held arts and crafts corporation that wants to tell their employees how to use their employment benefits and put Bibles in every public school classroom. They're not elected officials who chose to voluntarily run for public office and represent the people and obey the laws of our land. If the clerk doesn't want to recognize gay marriage, that's fine, don't run for county clerk. Go for a seat in the Oklahoma legislature instead.

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