The 12 Best Places to Work in Oklahoma If You Want to Impress Someone

8:41 AM EST on January 7, 2015

When you meet a new person, what’s the first thing they ask you? It’s like they have to know what you do to earn money before they feel comfortable judging you as a person. In my single days, I often told dudes at bars that I was a professional hit woman. No one believed it, but they generally laughed and bought me a beer. But I digress.

The job market in Oklahoma is small, so it can sometimes feel like there are only a handful of places to work. Regardless of what they say about the job market in OKC, I don’t think it’s as full of opportunities as some would have you believe. That’s why there are only a few places that it’s cool to work. And, if you’re like me and you don’t work for those places, it’s cool to lie.

So, without further ado, here are the 10 best places to say you work for....

1. Devon/Chesapeake

In my head, these are pretty much the same company. One has a terrifying tower, and another has a college-style campus. Both companies sponsor the hell out of things we enjoy, and both are pretty down with defiling the Earth in the name of profit. Any way you slice it, both are places that really impress others when you say you work for them. (Trust me, I’ve done it.) Which is really weird to me because almost everyone I know who works for those companies has either cheated on their spouses or amassed an impressive collection of DUIs. But I’m sure both of these companies are just as good and upstanding as they portray themselves to be.

2. Sonic

When I was a child, I had two career ambitions: I wanted to be a writer like Beverly Cleary because Ramona Quimby was a badass, and I also wanted to be a Sonic carhop because I really wanted one of those change dispensers on my belt. Flash forward to now, and I see that I should’ve put the carhop dream in front of writing. (It’s infinitely more lucrative.) And, if we’re being completely honest, it probably would look better on a resume. Who even cares if Sonic is the one restaurant that always manages to get hair in your food, regardless of location? People are impressed when you tell them that you're the gatekeeper for those thousand-some-odd drink combinations.

3. Saxum PR

This is just so you can make those cool 40 Under 40 lists.

4. Oklahoma City Thunder

Imagine calling your parents and telling them that you got a job with the Thunder. Do you know how proud they would be? Insanely proud. It would almost make up for the time they watched you let your whole seventh grade basketball team down by missing the last shot in the regionals. Maybe if you worked for the Thunder they wouldn’t be so ashamed of you. Maybe.

5. Paycom

Real talk: Paycom might actually be a cult. No, I don’t think they have any sort of religious or ideological agendas that they push on their employees. All I’m saying is that if you have a friend that starts working there, chances are they are going to start hanging out with those coworkers and forget you ever existed. And those coworkers will be so young and smart. You’ll have no idea what’s going on in the life of your friend, because they are a part of Paycom now. Also, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Paycom Prom Christmas party (the shindig where they drive their employees to Dallas for a stay in a hotel every January) is where everyone drinks the Kool-Aid. But it’s still a really impressive place to lie about working for.

6. Tate Publishing

How awesome would it be to have people think you regularly fly over to the Philippines to work for one of the biggest douchebag in the state?

7. Braum’s

Is there a single person on the planet with more leisure time than the people making the orders in the Braum’s drive thru? If there is, they need to learn to slow it down like the Braum’s folk. That is a whole new level of Zen, you guys. And when you tell people you work for Braum’s, they’ll be like “Teach me your ways! I’ve been doing Yoga for 5 years and I still can’t chill like the folks at Braum’s!” Also, who doesn’t want unlimited access to crinkle cut fries?

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8. National Weather Center

So, I’ve totally told people that I work for the National Weather Center. In the archives department, no less. Does the NWC have an archives department? I have no idea. I also don’t care because how awesome is it to make people think your job is to archive footage of tornadoes gathered by storm chasers?! Like, if Michael Bay were to create a movie about tornadoes, through some weird series of events the NWC archivist would accidentally get swept along on a storm chase, and this archivist would be played by Megan Fox. I like to think that’s what people think when I lie to them about working there.

9. KFOR

Patrick has applied to work there 17 times!

10. Hobby Lobby

Every single family has some chevron throw pillows and a “live, laugh, love” print in their home that totally came from Hobby Lobby. If you live in a McMansion, then you have some weird fleur de lis tchotchkes on your shelves and swirly rot iron wall hangings from Hobby Lobby. Point is, wouldn’t it be cool to tell someone you were instrumental in ordering the stuff they use to decorate their home from China? And, if that person is a Conservative, chances are they will shake your hand because you work for a company that stood up to Obamacare.

11. Remington Park

Admittedly, all I know about horse racing is what I learned from National Velvet and that one scene in Pretty Woman. I feel like this is enough for me to say that lying about working at Remington Park is a good idea. It’s all women with big hats and horsies running around and everyone is totally making money hand over fist, yeah? I’m pretty sure if you told someone you worked at Remington Park they would assume you were a bookie, and in that instance, they would think you were pretty badass.