Skip to Content
Everything Else

We’re suing Colorado because they are smart and legalized weed…

faceplam

On behalf of all logical and reasonable Oklahomans, I'd like to apologize to the state of Colorado.

In case you haven't heard, it was reported today that beloved Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt, along with our backwards friends from Nebraska, is suing Colorado because the state is forward thinking and decided to legalize recreational marijuana instead of fighting a racially biased, insane, unwinnable war to eliminate and ban its use.

From The Washington Post:

Amidst the dysfunction of Washington, an equal concern of Americans is the ever-expanding reach of federal agencies into their lives and businesses.

All too often, agencies ignore the laws on the books and take action to expand their authority to impose a political agenda. This undermines the rule of law and our system of representative government.

Federal agencies are turning to a new scheme -- "sue and settle" -- to further expand their reach and authority. The tactics call for federal agencies to settle, rather than fight, lawsuits filed by like-minded groups.

A consent decree is then reached behind closed doors and is later approved by the courts. Consent decrees are an appropriate avenue to settle a lawsuit but should not be used by federal agencies to regulate through litigation. That is precisely what’s happening, though, under sue and settle...

Let us not forget the states, serve an equally important role as a vertical check on the power of the federal government.

OOOPS! MY BAD. That's from an editorial Scott Pruitt (or Devon Energy) wrote for the Washington Examiner back in May complaining about the "ever-expanding reach" of government into the lives and businesses of people...

On the count of three, let's do it.

1...

2...

3...

Fuck you, you hypocritical asshole.

Seriously, what a joke. Even Mary Fallin has to be rolling her eyes on this one. Well, at least she would if she didn't get all that plastic surgery. We know she's all for state's rights, so there's no way she'll support this lawsuit.

Here's the Washington Post article:

Colorado’s neighbors are not happy about marijuana legalization.

The attorneys general of Oklahoma and Nebraska filed a lawsuit on Thursday with the U.S. Supreme Court arguing that Colorado’s commercialized marijuana system violates the constitution.

“Oklahoma and states surrounding Colorado are being impacted by Colorado’s decision to legalize and promote the commercialization of marijuana which has injured Oklahoma’s ability to enforce our state’s policies against marijuana,” Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt said in a statement on Thursday, referring to Colorado’s Amendment 64, which legalized marijuana in that state.

In the lawsuit, the states argue that Colorado’s law violates the supremacy clause of the Constitution, which states that federal laws takes precedence over state law.

“In passing and enforcing Amendment 64, the State of Colorado has created a dangerous gap in the federal drug control system enacted by the United States Congress,” they write in the suit. “Marijuana flows from this gap into neighboring states, undermining Plaintiff States’ own marijuana bans, draining their treasuries, and placing stress on their criminal justice systems.”

Hehe. You probably thought I was going to post a quote from Mary Fallin in support of the lawsuit. I don't think she's done it... yet.

Anyway, medical marijuana has been legal in Colorado for years. That's still illegal under federal law, so why does Pruitt not seem to care about that? Oh, because he's a mindless idiot that bases all his decisions on how it will advance his political career in Derplahoma. Sorry. I nearly forgot.

Also, I'd just like to mention that before Colorado legalized recreational marijuana, it was still pretty damn easy to score weed in Oklahoma. The only thing that's different is that now some of that weed is a little easier to get, gives people a better high and doesn't support Mexican drug cartels. What a crisis, huh? I guess in addition to apologizing to Colorado, we should be thanking them, too.

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter