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Being bribed seems kind of cool…

10:56 AM EST on December 5, 2014

bribery

Bribery is alive and well in Oklahoma...

Well, at least it is according to this Nolan Clay article on NewsOK.com. Apparently, executives from a local company called Aerochem Inc. bribed some employees at Tinker.

Via NewsOK.com:

There were trips to strip clubs, meals and drinks at Hooters, a $7,500 bass boat, cruise tickets, money for a wedding ring and routine payments of cash.

Those are among the bribes identified by a federal grand jury during an investigation of an Oklahoma City-based defense contractor, Aerochem Inc.

The founder and president of Aerochem has been indicted by the grand jury as a result of the investigation.

Christopher Houston Hensley, 56, of Yukon, is facing three counts of paying a bribe to a public official, one count of conspiring to pay a bribe to a public official and two counts of making false statements to the government about a product.

First of all, of course Nolan Clay is covering this for The Oklahoman. He's about as obsessed with strip clubs as Steve Lackmeyer is with old buildings and model makers from Russia. Once Nolan heard there were strip clubs involved, he probably ran to his editor's office like he was celebrating his birthday and about to go on stage for showtime.

Second, giving and accepting bribes looks like a lot of fun! Why's it illegal? Just check out all the perks:

Content of alleged bribes

Grand jurors allege in the indictment that he spent $800 in uniforms for a girls’ softball team coached by Tabb. They allege he provided $1,200 in cash toward the purchase of a wedding ring for Tabb in 2007.

They allege he gave $3,500 to Tabb in 2007 for a bass boat.

They allege he and the other Aerochem executive paid for meals and alcohol for Tabb “at various Oklahoma City restaurants, including several meals and drinks at Hooters” restaurant and entertained Tabb “at local gentlemen’s clubs on several occasions.”

The grand jurors allege in the indictment the two Aerochem executives in 2009 “corruptly caused the purchase” of $1,103 in Carnival cruise tickets so that Tabb could give the tickets to his son as a wedding gift. They allege the men in March 2010 caused Aerochem to purchase a $7,500 bass boat for Tabb’s personal use.

They allege Beesley — with Hensley’s knowledge — gave Tabb $1,000 in 2010 to pay taxes and made routine cash payments of $300 to $500 to Tabb in 2011 and 2012.

Grand jurors also allege both men took Balderas, the Corpus Christi Army Depot official, to gentlemen’s clubs at least twice in 2010.

They allege Beesley — again with Hensley’s knowledge — spent $800 to rent a condominium in Florida for Balderas, wired $5,000 to his wife’s bank account and spent $2,612 on an inflatable helmet for his son’s football team.

At least twice, Balderas was paid cash bribes of up to $1,800 based on the size of the order from Aerochem, according to the indictment.

Unless you're paying off a judge or something, I honestly don't get the problem with bribery. It's all subjective. Other than one being more fun than the other, what's the difference between a potential business client taking you to lunch at Charleston's or an all-nighter at Night Trips? If giving someone courtside Thunder tickets is okay, why can't you buy them a bass boat or softball jerseys? It doesn't make sense. It's a free market! Capitalism! Survival of the fittest! Agenda 21!! Ron Paul!!!

Okay, not sure what happened there.

Anyway, if anyone wants to bribe me in exchange for positive coverage on the site, send me an email. I'll reply with a TLO Media Kit and then we can go Night Trips and "discuss" advertising options. We just have to be cautious, because Nolan Clay will probably be there "investigating." His alias is Droopy.

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