2014 Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest Semi-Finals (Part 2)
10:25 AM EDT on October 9, 2014
Today we're releasing the other nine semi-finalist photos. You can vote for your three favorite pic. The three that get the most votes will make next week's finals.
And just to be safe, here's our disclaimer:
If you stumbled across this link on your niece’s Facebook page and are easily offended and politically correct, I should warn you that The Lost Ogle is an irreverent satirical news and entertainment website. It’s not for everyone, especially if you’re nice, kind-hearted and only have nice things to say about people. We started this contest seven years ago as an absurd alternative to other State Fair Photo contests. If you take everything way too seriously, and poking fun at our state’s fine people and Walmart culture bothers you, stop reading now and head over to The Pioneer Woman. Like our state fair photo contest, most of that site’s content is also depressing. It’s just nicer.
With that out-of-the-way, enjoy some photos:
Time Machine Mullets
When you first look at this photo, the obvious and easy assumption to make is that this couple owns a time machine and just came back from 1989, but if that's the case, why are they not wearing stone washed jeans??? Did they also stop by a 2004 TJ Maxx and buy new clothes?
Regardless, that's some miraculous hair. It makes me want to watch Joe Dirt and kiss my cousin. I bet it even makes Mike Gundy jealous. If a Poison or Warrant song isn't playing right now in your head, there's something wrong with you.
Boy, that brings back some memories. What man can't forget that awkward time when your dad sat you down, told you about the shocker, gave you a matching shocker t-shirt, and then took you to the state fair?
In all honesty, I doubt that's a father and son. It's probably just a pair of grown men walking through the state fair... holding hands... wearing ride bracelets... and sporting matching shocker t-shirts. Now I kind of wish it was a father and son.
p.s. - Kudos to the guy on the left for having the world's scariest arm tattoo. I think it eats your soul.
On the Wagon
"Legolas, tell me what your elf eyes see!"
Okay, that's a dated epic fantasy reference. How about this:
"Hodor... pull me around the Oklahoma State Fair in a wagon. I've had too much milk of the poppy."
There, that's a little better.
No lie, this lady makes me kind of jealous. Having someone pull you around in a wagon at the state fair seems kind of fun, and the ultimate sign that you've made it. It's a business I'd like to pitch on Shark Tank.
Pissed At The Fair
And you thought wearing damp jeans out of the dryer was uncomfortable!
That had to be embarrassing... for the iPhone. I bet Siri was paranoid and saying shit like "Amanda... there are 12 restrooms close by. Would you like directions to one of them?"
Just kidding, that's not urine. It's probably just butt sweat or water from the log ride, which now that I think about it, is probably worse than urine. Remember that the next time you buy a refurbished phone.
I'm not trying to be an asshole here, but maybe it's about time this woman starts paying for fit camp. That shirt is false advertising. It would be like me walking around in a "Ask me about free penis enlargement" sweatshirt. Of course, maybe this woman has recently lost a bunch of weight at free fitcamp and was showing off and feeling good. If so, congrats to her and wow, now I'm even a bigger asshole.
OSU at OKC... imagine all the possibilities!!!
Actually, I bet these girls went to OSU in Stillwater. It's like they fell out of a Stillwater travel brochure. They have Stillwater boots, Stillwater cut-offs and their tattoos were probably inked in a Stillwater bathroom.
Also, I checked out HireOSUGrads.com. There are no open bartending positions at Graham's. I bet that girl is disappointed.
In fairness, those machines do look like very comfortable butt massagers. I make that mistake all the time, too.
However, I can't help but wonder what the person selling those machines is thinking. It's probably something like "This lady needs to get up and go to Free Fitcamp." That salesperson probably works on commission, and can't properly go through the sales spiel while someone just sits there. Or, maybe this is part of the whole before and after transformation. Maybe next year we'll see this woman sitting there again and she'll be a size 6.
Although it's hard not to, please don't check out the attractive girls in the photo who probably like to go party rockin' in Bricktown on the weekends. They didn't want their faces in the photo so they don't deserve the attention. Instead, pay attention to the person in the background. I think she's looking for her car keys or the Indian Taco she had for dinner.
Your Elderly Paseo Neighbors
"Hey, I got an idea."
"What's that? Do you want to make more soap?"
"No, let's put on those clothes we bought in Marfa, go to the state fair, and drink a piña colada fresh out of pineapple."
"That sounds like a great idea. I'll wear my pants with the colossal back pocket."
"Outstanding! I'm going to hunt down my gigantic leather fanny pack."
Vote for your three favorites. Only vote once please. Click here to vote for the other 9 semi-finalists.
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