Not to be outdone, Mike Morgan showed his young apprentice how to really say something bad during that night's 6pm newscast. Following a serious report about how Oklahoma Muslims are trying to overcome negative stereotypes, prejudices, death threats and general attacks on their religion, Mike Morgan decided to lighten the mood by comparing an Islamic prayer ceremony to a tornado drill.
Here's the video:
As Emily Sutton would say, "Mike-Mike-Mike-Mike-Mike-Mike-Mike… what the fuck are you doing?!"
I know your peculiar observation was accurate in a very literal sense, but you just can't say stuff like that on TV. It's tacky and disrespectful. Would you say that crackers and grape juice from a communion ceremony remind you of good tornado shelter supplies? Save that stuff for the man you have locked in your basement.
Seriously, did Mike Morgan forget where he lives? After the gaffe, the KFOR phone lines were flooded by irate parents and church leaders who couldn't believe Mike Morgan just suggested that Oklahoma children participate in Muslim prayers during tornado safety drills. State Rep John Bennett, the Islamaphobe who's leading the anti-Muslim crusade, even told a crowd gathered at Western Sizzlin' that he's demanding Mike's resignation.
About halfway through his comment, you could see that Mike realized he had just screwed up. Kevin Ogle staring you down like a Viking raider who's about to attack a coastal village can do that to a man.
During that night's 10pm newscast – and on strict orders by the KFOR News Director – Mike gave a really awkward non-apologetic clarification about his self-described "off the cuff, " "insensitive perhaps" comment:
I have to ask, but where was Mike's red bedazzled severe weather tie? It seems like that would have been a good occasion to wear it.
Anyway, I take Mike for his word. Even though he succeeded in doing so, I don't think he was trying to offend local Muslims or Derplahomans with his remarks. He was just being himself. He could see a funeral procession and it would remind him of how people need to turn their lights on during a Thunderstorm. I bet whenever he looks at a grave he thinks about how it would make an excellent tornado shelter. As Mike admitted, his mind is a little warped.