For some reason, Mercy Hospital in far Northwest Oklahoma City has always given me the heebie jeebies. I not 100% sure why, but I think it may have something to do with my irrational fear of the Kilpatrick Turnpike, nuns and / or that the gigantic revolving cross on top of the hospital always seems to be following me. It could also be that I possibly owe them money. Who knows.
Last week, the hospital had a groundbreaking for their new $69-million cancer center. It's named after Sister Mary Coletta Massoth, who 40 years ago moved Mercy from downtown OKC to the outskirts of the outskirts of the outskirts of Oklahoma City. She died in 1983.
Via The Edmond Sun:
Mercy dignitaries broke ground Wednesday on a new $69 million breast health and cancer treatment and research building on the grounds of Mercy Hospital in Oklahoma City.
With a projected opening date in spring 2016, the 86,000-square-foot space will be accompanied by 42,000 square feet of additional space that be available on the third floor for future growth.
The facility will be named the Coletta Building in honor of Sister Mary Coletta Massoth, who, as president at the time, led a group of Mercy nuns 40 years ago in finding the 40 acres in north Oklahoma City to be the location for the new Mercy Hospital.
That's cool. Hopefully the cancer center saves many lives. Let's check out a photo from the groundbreaking:
Yeah, that's real. Mercy Hospital brought out a Cardboard Sister Mary Coletta Massoth for a groundbreaking ceremony and didn't give her a hard hat. That has to be some sort of EHS violation. How reckless.
Actually, that's creepy and weird. It's also pretty damn cool. From here on out, I say every groundbreaking or ribbon cutting should feature a cardboard cutout of a dead person. That would at least make them more interesting. Plus, it would be infinitely better than having a real life cardboard cutout like Lt. Governor Todd Lamb stop by to drown people in boredom.
Anyway, I wonder if we can work with Mercy to get Cardboard Sister Mary Coletta Massoth to go on a date with Cardboard Jim Traber. That would be a fun native advertising post. CJ hasn't been out in a while and probably wouldn't mind getting some action, and since Cardboard Sister Massoth isn't a true being, she wouldn't have to worry about breaking her sacred vows. Maybe we could set it up where the two go to Republic for dinner, Speakeasy for drinks, and after that, well, who knows?
Okay, okay. I'm kidding. The last thing I want is Oklahoma City Archbishop Paul Coakley suing me because I threatened to use the church's property in a blasphemous event. I was joking around. Besides, Cardboard Jim isn't even straight. He's actually gay and romantically involved with Mr. Know It. He wouldn't be interested.
(Editor's Note: As it has been pointed out by several astute commenters, Cardboard Massoth is wearing a hard hat. Mercy's prestigious safety rating is intact.)
