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Sometimes, you just need to have sex on a sidewalk in front of church

12:35 PM EDT on July 14, 2014


Love is blind. It apparently can't smell very well, either.

The big story in OKC last week had to do with Riginald Haney and Page Pals. They took a break from hunting hobbits and were busted having sex have on a sidewalk in front of church in South Oklahoma City.


Oklahoma City police arrested two people who were caught having sex on the sidewalk in front of a church Wednesday night.

According to police, at about 6 p.m., officers responded to the report of two people having sex in front of the St. Lukes Church, located at 5801 S. Penn.

When officers arrived, they said they saw two people, later identified as 52-year-old Reginald Haney and 52-year-old Page Pals, naked and having intercourse on the sidewalk directly in front of the church, under the cross on the wall. Both were in full view of vehicle and pedestrian traffic on S. Penn.

Officers then told both Haney and Pals to get up and get dressed. They said they could smell an odor of alcohol coming from both suspects.

Haney and Pals were unsteady on their feet and had slurred speech, according to police. They were then arrested and booked into the Oklahoma County Jail on charges of engaging in an act of lewdness, indecent exposure, and public drunkenness.

So not only did they have sex outside in front of church, but they did it underneath a cross? That's disrespectful and obnoxious. Like the Christian God really needs another sad reminder of why he killed his only son.

That being said, I guess can't really blame Riginald and Page for their actions. They both probably wanted to get it over with before the other person sobered up and changed their mind. I seriously doubt they get a lot of matches on Tinder.

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