Gawker recently published a U.S. map that shows the states where sodomy is banned and necrophilia is totally legal.
As is typically the case with internet maps that highlight poor, dumb, unhealthy, archaic, backwards thinking parts of the country, Oklahoma was the wrong color.
Wait a second. Does that mean blowjobs and other things are illegal in Oklahoma? If so, are all the girls from Piedmont and Mustang going to jail???
Well, not exactly. Via Gawker:
A quick survey of nationwide laws on sodomy and necrophilia shows that there are four states that explicitly ban the former in some way, while remaining silent on the latter:
• In Louisiana and North Carolina, two willing adults can't get no oral satisfaction, but they can diddle a dead person.
• Oklahoma and Kansas are also cool with you banging the dearly departed, but they ban oral intercourse between consenting gay or lesbian partners.
• For the record, several other states—Nebraska, New Mexico, and Vermont—also appear to allow necrophilia, but they're cool with sodomy, too, so at least they're consistent.
Ohhhh, oral sex is totally cool in Oklahoma... if you're straight. That's a relief. I guess you're in the clear, girls from Piedmont and Mustang.
Even though it would probably fail, some group should try to get a state question on the ballot that would legalize homosexual oral sodomy in our state. It would be worth it just to watch little old church ladies faint while voting. Plus, it would be fun to play a prank on Sally Kern and put a bunch of "Vote Yes for Homosexual Sodomy" signs in her front yard.
If the state petition thing didn't work, we could always try to legalize it in Oklahoma City. It would only take about 5,000 votes or so to get it on a local ballot. That's perhaps a better idea, because then it would put the state legislature in the uncomfortable position of creating a law that prevents municipalities from enacting their own local gay oral sex ordinances.
Anyway, I guess the other news item here is that it's legal to have sex with a corpse in Oklahoma. And, yes, we're talking about a real corpse, not Ronnie Kaye. Considering most Derplahomans act like corpses during sex, I would assume this law will remain legal. Except, of course, for the gay stuff. Now that this story is out there, expect a state question banning gay oral sex with corpse in Oklahoma to make this year's ballot.
