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Mike Turner, The “Ban Marriage in Oklahoma” guy, eats his own eye boogers…

mike turner 3

Cameras are everywhere today.

Someone may want to share that bit of wisdom, along with a list of reputable hairstylists, with State Representative and US 5th Congressional District hopeful Mike Turner. He's the lawmaker who recently filed a bill that would ban all marriage in Oklahoma. He did it not because he's smart, but to simply prevent gays and the lesbians who stole his hairstyle from getting married.

During a recent debate on the House floor regarding an intrusive big government bill that would prevent local municipalities from enacting their own minimum wages, Mike was caught, well, check out the following video:

mike turner

Oops! That's not the video. That's a screenshot of a Facebook message that Mike Turner sent to a TLO Facebook follower at 6:30 AM. He may only be 26, but he already has old man sleep patterns.

You see, back when Mike announced he was running for US Congress at the age of 26 and donating $500,000 of his "own" money to his campaign, I asked on Facebook if anyone knew anything about him. I guess Mike knew one of the people who liked our post and then sent him that not in anyway paranoid message.

From my question and other areas of research, I've since learned a few things about Mike, including:

• He's really, really, really rich. And not the "worked hard his whole life / built his own successful business" type of rich. You know, the type you respect. We're talking about the "his family is worth tons of money so he can buy political races" trust fund type of rich. Apparently, Mike's family owns Turner Brothers Trucking or a bunch of Super Cuts or something like that. I'm not 100% sure. What the company is doesn't really matter. All I know is that if you ask any politico about Mike Turner, the first thing that comes out of their mouth is "his family is loaded."

• He's never had a real job. Unlike most of the 700,000 people he wants to represent in congress, Mike's never had a real job that he depended upon to earn a living. Everything I found online lists him as an "investor," "entrepreneur" or "student." Basically, he's that douchebag kid at Edna's buying everyone Lunch Boxes on his black AMEX card on a Saturday night.

• He has a two degrees from SMU. Hey, we may give him a hard time for being a spoiled trust fund kid who's never had to work a day in his life or deal with real world problems like not having the cash to pay rent, put food on the table or get a lap dance at Nite Trips, but the dude does appear to be book smart. He has a Bachelor's in Mechanical Engineering and a Master's in Electrical Engineering from SMU. Granted, I don't know how those degrees will help him in his chosen career of "Ask Parents For Money," but it's good he has them.

• He eats his own eye boogers. Yeah, I guess this is the original reason I wrote this post. Watch this clip from a recent Oklahoma House debate. Pay attention to Mike in the back right of the video:

In all fairness, I really doubt Mike was eating eye boogers. He probably just has a bad habit of sticking his finger in his eye and then licking it, which actually, sounds worse than eating eye boogers.

Anyway, I guess if anyone has anything they'd like to share about Mike Turner – or if the guy's done something in particular to piss you off, like introduce an amendment to ban marriage – leave a comment. Just watch what you say. He may Facebook you or flick an eye booger your way.

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