The lady pictured above is Heather Lynn Hall.
She provided some free entertainment to Penn Square Mall shoppers – and made a mall cop's ultimate fantasy come true – after she was caught shoplifting from The Buckle on Saturday.
Here's what happened. Heather shoplifted. Heather was caught. Heather, going off instincts, removed her top and wrestled with a very panicked mall cop until authorities arrived. It's the most interesting thing to happen inside Penn Square Mall cop since the Build-A-Bear riots of 2008.
Joleen Chaney has all the details about the incident, including some video.
Boy, that mall cop sure had an interesting story to tell his parents when he got home from work! I bet he wrote a really cool post about the ordeal on the comic book message board he moderates. What a goober. Could he do a better job of being a stereotypical mall cop? Based upon his panic attack, you can tell he's never been to a) bikini oil wrestling at a bar in Norman, or b) a bedroom with a woman. If I was the mall cop I would have calmed the lady down and then took her on a joyride through JC Penney. Sure, I would have been fired, but then I could tell people I was the mall cop who took the topless junkie on a joyride through the mall on a Segway. Plus, I could always get a job at a different mall.
Here are few other thoughts:
• Isn't that lady too old to shoplift from The Buckle? She probably stuck out like a junkie in a Buckle.
• Did anyone else kind of feel funny hearing Joleen Chaney talk about shirtless women? She probably should have gone out and recreated the scene like Ali Meyer did in that one video. I'd volunteer to play either the woman or the mall cop.
• Could the real cop have shown a bit more urgency? You have a topless woman on the ground and mall cop having a panic attack and about pee in his pants. That never works out well.
• I guess if anyone has an uncensored video they'd like to share, send it out way. I'm not sure I really want to see it, but that's the sacrifice I make for you all.
