After two hard-fought games against Danny Bowien and Vanity Perkins, Marla Morgan was eliminated from Ogle Madness yesterday by Gary England by a score of 366 - 228. In a last-ditch effort to secure votes, Marla sent us one of her patented emails:
Patrick darling,
I am pleased to have advanced in your contest, I've always liked contests! But you really need a more recent picture of me, so here is one from last year during that hot Summer. More recent material is always good when in contests! BTW, that silly comment about me being a high maintenance spouse? I didn't like that too much. I don't get mad very often, but when I do, it's not very pretty.
XO,
Marla
So, Marla Morgan sent me a photo from one hot American summer. This better be good. Let's check it out:
Yes, let it be known that on March 26, 2014, Mike Morgan's wife emailed me a photograph where she's posing in a swimsuit in front of an old car... while holding a stuffed Wile E. Coyote doll that Mike Morgan probably won for her at the State Fair. Sometimes I complain about how ridiculous and weird my job is, but sometimes it's pretty cool.
To make things even better, she also included this image. I guess it has to do with the whole "I don't get mad very often, but when I do, it's not very pretty" line from her email:
Yes, let it be known that on March 26, 2014, Mike Morgan's wife emailed me a scan of a Dungeons and Dragons library book cover that shows Zolphina, the evil blue witch queen of the Zhentarium, sucking the life force out of a Daggerdale chieftain who has the face of Stan from South Park photoshopped over his head. Sometimes I complain about how ridiculous and weird my job is, and sometimes those complaints are totally justified!
Seriously, what's going on with that? I don't know if I should be flattered or concerned. The English major in me is guessing Marla represents the evil queen and I represent Stan. As long as I don't end up dead like Kenny, I guess that's fine. In other news, I'm going to start locking my doors.
That's just some strange stuff. First of all, is anyone surprised that Dungeons and Dragons are popular books in the Morgan household? I'm not. I've long heard rumors that Mike Morgan incorporates a 12-sided die and magic spells when making his weather predictions. This would definitely confirm them.
Also, what's up with the random Wile E. Coyote doll? I wish I could have been at the photo shoot when Mike Morgan spoke up and said "You know what would make this really sexy? What if you held one of Reed Timmer's Wile E. Coyote dolls!?" That's just strange. I'm surprised the doll wasn't holding up a wooden "Help" sign.
Anyway, I'd like to thank Marla Morgan for the emails, congratulate her for the Sweet 16 appearance, and apologize for calling her "high maintenance." Let's all leave extremely nice and flattering words in the comments section so that she never stops emailing us. Like an elder elf mage reviewing secret scrolls, something tells me she reads them.
