Oklahoma Governor’s Race Tests Positive for Desperation…

One of the more entertaining things to develop in the Oklahoma governor’s race is the growing rumor/accusation that Mike Mazzei – thanks in part to his goofy mannerisms, odd vocal patterns and general public weirdness – is hooked on drugs, and therefore somehow unqualified to lead one of the bottom 10 states in America.

I haven’t seen any evidence that Mazzei has a drug problem, but thanks to online bots, burner accounts and the usual collection of political shitposters, the accusations have been amplified enough to become a bona fide issue that both campaigns now feel compelled to take seriously.

For example, Gentner Drummond indirectly acknowledged – and arguably gave some credence to – the rumors by taking and releasing a drug test of his own, and then making sure the media knew about it:

That naturally put Mazzei in the awkward position of either ignoring the rumors and letting them fester, or submitting to the indignity of proving to Oklahoma Republican voters that he can successfully pee in a cup.

This week, he chose the cup!

Over the weekend, Mike Mazzei released a video showing the results of a urine drug test, finally addressing an accusation that had been floating around Oklahoma political circles for a while but, thanks to a contentious primary and the usual election-season desperation, has now bubbled all the way to the top.

You can watch the full video and a screenshot of the drug test results below:

Yep, Mike Mazzei showed the world he can pee in a cup and – whether through full-fledged sobriety or cheating – pass a drug test!

Obviously, that should be enough to silence his critics, put the whole weird issue to bed and allow everyone to get back to discussing normal campaign issues.

LOL. Yeah right.

Not long after Mazzei released his results, Gentner Drummond’s campaign fired out a response complaining that Mike had taken the wrong kind of drug test – opting for the standard piss-in-a-cup variety instead of the hair test Drummond took.

Really?

I mean, Gentner technically has a point. Hair tests are more reliable, but come on, Mike took a drug test and passed it. Now he needs to take another one because the first drug test wasn’t drug-testy enough? What happens if he passes the hair test, too? Does Gentner demand a blood draw? A polygraph? Force Mazzei to swear on a Trump Bible that he has never knowingly enjoyed an opioid?

If you ask me, the whole drug-test thing is overblown. I have pretty liberal, libertarian views on drugs, and honestly, I’m not sure I even want a governor who’s full-blown straight edge.

I’m not saying I want the guy eating mushrooms before a State of the State address – actually, that would be kind of awesome – but occasionally smoking a joint, popping a prescribed pill or otherwise altering your consciousness doesn’t automatically make you unfit for office. Gentner Drummond would agree: 

I don't know what's in Gentner's cups, but what's the difference between catching a buzz while playing with your camel, and popping a pill to help recover from a broken back?

If you ask me, I’m way more concerned about politicians who wake up completely sober every morning and still think eliminating the income tax, chasing away immigrants and turning Oklahoma into an industrial dumping ground are all perfectly rational ideas!

Anyway, with one week to go before the runoff, the fact that we’re now debating the relative merits of piss tests versus hair follicles probably tells you everything you need to know about where this campaign stands.

The candidates may be testing negative for drugs, but the governor’s race is testing overwhelmingly positive for desperation.

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.