The real March Madness begins today. Before we continue, pour a little bit out of whatever you're drinking for the old Varsity Sports Grill near 63rd and Western. God, I loved the place. Forcing them to close was probably the worst thing Aubrey McClendon did at Chesapeake. The food was average, the TVs were old, and the waitresses were not hot, but that little pit area with all the TVs was the best place to ever to watch four NCAA tournament games at one time.
Back in the day (a.k.a. early to mid 2000s), my friends and I would take vacation days and get there at 10:00am to snag a couple of tables in the pit. This was our routine: drink, watch basketball, drink, eat, drink, watch basketball, drink, rip apart our brackets, drink, and when the afternoon games ended at around 4:00pm, play some pool or Buck Hunter. When the late games tipped off at 6:30, we'd generally try to extend the binge into the evening. That never worked out well.
Anyway, sorry for that bit of nostalgia. Here are today's match-ups:
(1) Joleen Chaney vs. (16) Pooping Tom
(8) Wes Welker vs. (9) Video Vigilante
(4) Non-Chunky Thunder Girls vs. (13) OKC Seahawks
(5) Mayor Mick Cornett vs. (12) Mary Fallin
Vote on!
(1) Joleen Chaney vs. (16) Pooping Tom
(1) Joleen Chaney
Conference: Super Hot Local Newsanchors
Who She Is: Anchor for KFOR News Channel 4
Biggest Strength: Easy on the eyes.
Biggest Weakness: Is married to a cop.
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(16) Pooping Tom
Conference: Disgusting People
Who He Is: Guy who hid under porta potty toilet to catch a glimse of god knows what.
Biggest Strength: Clearly doesn't give a f-ck.
Biggest Weakness: Affinity for chili.
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(8) Wes Welker vs. (9) Video Vigilante
(8) Wes Welker
Conference: Some Damn Sports Fella
Who He Is: Some Guy
Biggest Strength: Catching passes
Biggest Weakness: Except on critical third downs in the Super Bowl
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(9) Video Vigilante
Conference: Weirdos
Who He Is: Guy Who Ambushes Unsuspecting People as They Bang Hookers
Biggest Strength: Turned fetish into paying gig.
Biggest Weakness: Restaurant reviews.
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(4) Non-Chunky Thunder Girls vs. (13) OKC Seahawks
(4) Non-Chunky Thunder Girls
Conference: Ex-Girlfriends
Who They Are: Thunder Girls
Biggest Strength: Making poms poms sexy
Biggest Weakness: Most are married or have boyfriends.
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(13) OKC Seahawks
Conference: Things That Get OKC Excited
What It Is: Amazing Pipe Dream of Things That Will Never Happen
Biggest Strength: Plausible.
Biggest Weakness: Not Possible.
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(5) Mayor Mick Cornett vs. (12) Mary Fallin
5) Mayor Mick Cornett
Conference: Amazing Mayors
Who He Is: Four Term Mayor of Oklahoma City
Biggest Strength: Getting elected
Biggest Weakness: Befriending the Red Dirt Report
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(12) Mary Fallin
Conference: Politicians
Who She Is: Governor of Oklahoma
Biggest Strength: Making muppets look full of life
Biggest Weakness: Obeying open records laws
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