The Incredible Burt Wonderstone came out in March. That is Jim Carrey's most forgettable movie until the Dumb & Dumber sequel comes out next year. Trust me. That thing is gonna be almost as bad as the new Anchorman. You'll see. Oh, you'll see.
Here's the top TLO stories for March 2013! We'll try not to mention Emily Sutton this time around. Dammit. Too late.
Don't forget to vote for your favorite!
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6. Open Records: Gov. Fallin's Chief of Staff complained a State Senator was staring at her chest
Published: 03/29/13
What We Said: "It’s B.S. that women have to deal with pervs like this in professional situations. You should only stare at women’s chest when you’re either a) at a bar, the beach, Hooters, Twin Peaks, trivia night, a strip club or Thunder game, or b) if you’re good at doing it without them noticing."
What We Learned: If the above excerpt is any indication, we learned nothing. At all.
Fun Fact: People in positions of importance still haven't figured out the internet is forever.
Best Comment: "Today is the best day ever for the internet!"- Jon C.
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5. 18 Amusing, Pathetic and Weird OKC Missed Connections on Craigslist
Published: 03/05/13
What We Said: "When I first saw the graphic [showing where most state's CL Missed Connections are], I was a bit embarrassed. The state fair, really? Why can’t we be normal and have missed connections at Walmart? The State Fair runs for a couple of weeks. Walmart is open for about 8,750 hours a year. I can only imagine how awful some of the State Fair missed connections could be."
What We Learned: People are really unafraid to be as gay as possible on the internet.
Fun Fact: The most disturbing CL ad I've ever read involved the Home Depot bathroom near Best Buy on May. It was one of a few. Fair warning to anyone venturing into the men's bathroom there. Oof.
Best Comment: "This made me appreciate my girlfriend even more."- Cynical Chris
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4. Meet the scariest white rapper in Oklahoma City (or the world)
Published: 03/12/13
What We Said: "Dear Mr. Zero. I don’t want to make fun of you. I like your music and wish you a long and successful career rapping and killing Crips, so please don’t shoot me with your great great grandfather’s Civil War era revolver. Seriously, that’s a sweet musket."
What We Learned: If Mr. Zero and the diminutive Native American rappers Lil Mike & Funny Bone are all OKC has to offer, Jabee has nothing to worry about when locking down the local hip-hop game. Also, Jabee is really talented. That helps. Sorry, Mr. Zero.
Fun Fact: Mr. Zero is probably going to shoot Spencer which is why Spencer will forever be known as Mr. Zero's "Third Tear Drop".
Best Comment: "There really should be an IQ test before people are allowed to buy guns, or breed."- Jimmy
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3. The One Where a meth Head in Ada hid a gun in her Vagina
Published: 03/06/13
What We Said: "The lady pictured above is Christie Harris. If she looks upset in that mug shot, it’s probably because she was arrested on drug possession charges. Or it could be the loaded gun that cops found in her vagina. One of the two."
What We Learned: The woman got sentenced to three concurrent 25 year sentences for sneaking drugs and a gun into jail. That's the second worst thing that can happen involving putting a gun inside your hoo haw.
Fun Fact: That woman's nickname in jail is "The Arsenal". Trust me, that's the cleanest one we could use.
Best Comment: “You’ll shoot your fallopian tube out”- Jo&Em Fan
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2. After seeing this photo, we may have to call him "Bulge Ibaka"
Published: 03/25/13
What We Said: "Every time I try to look at it I find myself simultaneously trying to look away."
What We Learned: Serge Ibaka and every male writer for this site have one enormous thing in common with Serge I-bulk-a. That's right. Ego.
Fun Fact: Sometimes he ties it in his shoes on accident.
Best Comment: "I could block balls all night too if I had three arms."- Sofa Kings
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Published: 03/21/13
What We Said: "She’s the hottest thing to come out of Mustang since that batch of biker meth some guy named Shane cooked up in 1974. Her son is by far going to be the most popular kid at his high school."
What We Learned: We should have gotten into professional sports.
Fun Fact: No one in Mustang will ever look like that girl again. Sorry, fellas of Mustang. You missed out.
Best Comment: "And you somehow left her out of OgleMadness?"- Doe Jorman
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