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Law and Order

Apparently it’s now a crime to slap a random woman on her buttocks…

2:35 PM EDT on August 13, 2013

etric robert

The wannabe playboy pictured above is Etric Roberts. He's now in jail after he slapped a woman's hiney outside a plasma collection center on NW 23rd.

Via News 9:

A woman called Oklahoma City Police on Monday after a man made suggestive comments and slapped her backside.

The woman was at CSL Plasma on N.W. 23rd Street near Shartel on Monday. She told police as she walked outside the plasma collection center, 39-year-old Etric Roberts walked by, hit her buttocks and said, "That's a juicy [expletive]!"

Wow. This guy is a sick and disgusting idiot. Not only were his actions inappropriate, but he should have followed "That's a juicy ass" with "Now go do my dishes!" That's what I do and it gets a laugh everytime. People are more forgiving when you're funny and inside the hip hop club at Graham's. Instead Etric turned into super creeper and followed the lady to her car:

The woman told Roberts not to talk her and she walked away; but Roberts followed her to her car. She went back into the plasma center to get away from him, and called police.

Officers found Roberts still standing in front of CSL Plasma. When he saw the police, he ran away. Officers chased him and caught him in a nearby alley.

Officers said Roberts smelled strongly of an alcoholic beverage, had red, watery eyes and slurred his speech. He also had a pint of gin in his back pocket.

So he was drunk? Shocking.

Anyway, I guess I should apologize, in advance, for the misogynistic comments above. Please don't take it seriously. I'll never do it again. Now get back to reading Jezebel or go cook me dinner.

Also, it doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman. If some drunk guy grabbing your ass is the worst thing that happens to you outside a plasma collection center on NW 23rd, consider yourself lucky. That place is so sketchy that the Cantina Band won't even play there. It could have been a lot worse. For example, you could have been bitten, stepped on a broken needle or ran into Rhubarb Lady. Stay away.

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