In case you missed it, and you probably did, singer-songwriter indie god Ryan Adams trolled cartoonish conservative freak show Sean Hannity on Twitter earlier this week. Because we live in a bizarre 21st century world where things like this happen, Sean Hannity invited "Miss Oklahoma 2013" Anna Marie Costello on his show to talk about it.
Here's a clip of the segment:
That's cool. There's only one problem. That wasn't really Miss Oklahoma.
Wait. What?
The real Miss Oklahoma that will be representing our state in the 2013 Miss America Pageant is OCU student Kelsey Griswold. Remember her? Here's a pic:
I know all pageant contestants all look the same, but that's obviously not the same "Miss Oklahoma" who appeared on Hannity. Maybe the imposter is Miss Oklahoma USA. That would make sense. Based on the stumbling, bumbling answers she gave to Sean Hannity's questions, she seems to have more beauty than brains.
But...she's not. Miss Oklahoma USA is my ex-girlfriend Makenize Muse. I called things off because all she wanted to do was prance around in a bikini:
Okay, so the obvious questions here are who is this Anna Marie Costello, and why in the hell is she pretending to be Miss Oklahoma on a Fox News Show? Here's your answer.
After doing some research, Anna Marie is something called "Miss Oklahoma United States." It's part of a bush-league national pageant competition that doesn't even appear to have a representative from every state. Basically, it's minor league. If she can get away with masquerading as Miss Oklahoma, then (dated reference alert!!!) former 89er Steve Balboni should be allowed to introduce himself as a home run champion.
I would suggest we have the state labor department investigate the matter, but that would be a waste of time. Anna Marie's dad is Oklahoma Labor Commissioner Mark Costello. Here's a pic from Anna Marie's Instagram:
Oops, wrong pic. That's the one I'm going to submit to Awkward Modeling Photos. Here's the one I intended to post:
Great, now I have that stupid Mark Costello jingle in my head. Thanks to him, I can never drink Mellow Yellow ever again. That's probably a good thing.
Here are a few other thoughts:
• Anna Marie's sister, Caitlin, is Miss Teen Oklahoma United States. Or as she probably likes to be called, Miss Teen Oklahoma.
• How much do you want to bet that Anna Marie is someday going to have business cards that claim she's the "Founder, President and CEO" of her own home-based cupcake company.
• If Anne Marie is going to pretend to be the real Miss Oklahoma on a TV show, can someone tell her about hypocrisy and irony? These were her two comments during the segment:
COSTELLO: I feel like he was tweeting -- he's a nearly 40-year-old man, and it seems as though 40 is now the new 15. So I agree.
The problem with having a Twitter account and having this platform as a celebrity is that you can say whatever you want without having any kind of accountability. He is in the public eye.
I totally agree. Celebs can say whatever they want on Twitter without having any accountability. For example, they can pretend to be something they are not. Don't you hate it when people do that?
HANNITY: I think Anna Marie is a role model for a lot of girls.
COSTELLO: I would think so. I didn't achieve my talent by insulting people. I have a sense of character and integrity, as everyone should. No matter if you're a celebrity, no matter if you're a politician or a beauty queen or whoever you may be. He has no sense of integrity.
Yes, I'm sure lots of girls look in the mirror and dream about pretending to be Miss Oklahoma on some nut job's TV show. When I think of character and integrity, that's the first thing to come to mind.
