If you go to White Water tomorrow and hear Newsboys on the loud speakers, notice all the rafts are shaped like Ichthys and see girls swimming in jean dress swimsuits, don't be alarmed. It's just Christian Family Fun Day at our city's water park:
Well, that sounds like the most ridiculously fun thing ever. I wonder if they'll perform baptisms in the wave pool? Also, will James Lankford be there to bond with his base? If so, I guarantee you'll find him under an umbrella or drinking soda pop inside the Coral Reef Cafe. I heard if he gets too much sunlight he either melts, disintegrates or sparkles. It could be all three.
Anyway, I bring all this up because the House 89.7FM morning crew visited White Water a month or two ago and made an awesome video about it. It's very unintentionally funny. Everything about it is from the Book of Non-Denominational Church Video clichés, which I think can be purchased at your neighborhood Mardel.
Check it out:
Normally this is the part of the post where I make fun of what we just watched, but you know what, I can't do it. Janelle's just too sweet, innocent and childlike. She really could be a 12-year-old girl trapped in a Baby Boomers body. I'm terrified that whatever I write may seriously hurt her feelings. I can't live with that on my conscience. The same goes for her 23-year-old co-host Carder Price. The guy seems kind of cool, plus he's probably a virgin. I feel guilty making fun of virgins. I doubt he could hurt a fly. Unless that fly was annoying his youth group or threatening to harm is autographed Carmen CD. Then all bets are off.
Since I can't make fun of the hosts, I'm going to focus on my favorite things in the video:
Best Quotes:
"The pipeline is nuts!" - Carder
"I was nervous coming in, but not so much coming out." - Janelle
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Best T-Shirt to Never Wear in Public:
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Best Use of Awkward Statue:
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Best Use of iMovie Filter and Time:
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Best Shot of Creepy Guy Who Should Not Be at Whitewater
