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Law and Order

Mr. Poopy Pants did a terrible job robbing a “Gold For Cash” store…

gold robbers

The Bonnie and Clyde wannabes pictured above are Mr. and Ms. Poopy Pants. Earlier this week, they came up with an elaborate plan to rob an Oklahoma City "Gold For Cash" merchant. It involved silver spoons, ceiling tiles and shit everywhere.

From News 9:

Two suspects are still at large after an attempted burglary at a metro business.

It happened at Oklahoma Gold Buyers on South Penn, and it was bizarre.

Things actually seemed normal at first when a man and woman came in to cash in on some silver. But it wasn't long before the man was crawling up in the ceiling, and that's when things got messy...

"They brought in a bunch of spoons, sterling silver spoons," Limbocker says. "They were bent and all torn up. That's not an usual item for someone to bring into the store."

What was unusual was how the man was acting.

"He was obviously high. She was calm, relaxed. He was pacing back and forth," Limbocker said.

The man asked if he could use their restroom. He was gone for a while. Then Limbocker heard a loud noise and went to the safe room to check out what was going on.

"About the time I opened the door, he was falling through the ceiling tiles," Limbocker says."Truthfully, my mind was just racing. My only thought was to call 911."

The man went back up through the ceiling, came out through the restroom, and he was a mess.

"He had actually used the restroom on himself. I think we literally scared him so badly that he lost control of his bowels," Limbocker said.

The man took off. The woman grabbed her spoons and left too. They weren't able to get away with anything, but they left a lot of something nobody wants to clean up.

"It was in the ceiling, on the walls, on the floor," Limbocker says. "You name it, it was there."

The store has changed its restroom policy - no public restroom there anymore.

Well, I guess that explains why the fled the scene with their windows rolled down.

I feel terrible for the employee who had to clean that mess up. There are some things in life you shouldn't have to do and cleaning a grown mans shit off the walls is one of them. You know how they say the punishment should fit the crime? If they capture this guy, they should force him to escape from Shawshank prison. That will teach him.

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