We're currently in the heart of May sweeps. It's the annoying time of the year when desperate reporters and even more desperate new directors stoop to the lowest of lows to bring in viewers. Most of the time, the stories they run are your typical over-sensationalized, fill in the blank, fear driven pieces, like "12 Hidden Dangers Found Inside Your Microwave," "How To Tell If Your Teen Is Sexting the Sexual Predator Who Might Be Hiding In Your Attic Right Now," and "Watch Amanda Taylor Annoy Some Country Musician."
Occasionally, though, reporters go outside the typical box of fear, paranoia and shitty interviews and produce a story that's so ridiculous that it just has to be watched. KFOR's Lance West is one of those reporters, and his story on Channel 4 tonight looks like one of those reports. Here's a preview sent to us by an Ogle Mole:
Yep, that's real. KFOR is investigating the turtle slaughtering habits of Oklahoma motorists. Can someone who works with my Mom check on her to see if she's okay? Based on what I've told you in the past, she won't take this very well.
Few other thoughts:
• Since this story is already in The Onion territory, couldn't they have thrown in a reference to sexual predators or at least had a box turtle bail on a home repair job after taking money from an elderly couple? That could have made it greatest sweeps story of all time.
• Outside of Bee-Bop, Rocksteady and Shredder, who the f*ck attempts to hit a turtles while driving down the road?
• Ali Meyer is one of my favorite anchors in this market. Her reaction to the video is a big reason why. She's kind of funny, likes to laugh at ridiculously awful things, and is kind of milfy.
• There's about a 84% chance than some clever commenter is going to post "I like Turtles." This is why:
