This is the most special time of the year because it allows me to write with liberal amounts of snark. Also, Patrick pays me in Lost Ogle trivia pens. If you don't think pens work as currency, you've never tried to buy a thing from a hobo. They love pens because they're more than just pens in Hoboworld. They're valuable multifaceted tools that serve as straws, joint holders, shivs, tracheotomy tubes, lady stabbin' sticks, and "permanent pencils." What was I buying from a hobo? Let's just say you should do yourself a favor and try to buy a "Magic Meat" sandwich for five pens. Totally worth it.
Here's your first group of match-ups for the day. They come from the top half of the Northeast Region. The lower half will be posted later today. See! Now you have something to look forward to!
(1) Gary England vs. (16) KFOR's Social Media Director
(8) Regular Jim Traber vs. (9) Christina Fallin
(4) Scott Brooks vs. (13) Aubrey McClendon
(5) Blake Shelton vs. (12) Prague Valedictorian
So spend your mornings stressing over this and vote accordingly. It's the least we'd do for you if you were in this competition.Better luck next year, Ryan Tate.
Vote!
(1) Gary England vs. (16) KFOR's Social Media Director
(1) Gary England
Conference: Godlike Weather Predictors
Who he Is: Some say "God". By "some" I mean "all".
Biggest Strengths: Not having any weaknesses.
Biggest Weaknesses: See above.
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(16)KFOR's Social Media Director
Conference: Lucky Careers That Didn't Exist Five Years Ago