One of the few things I miss about my last "real" job was the annual "Expanded Senior Leadership Team" Christmas Party. Yeah, I was part of something called the Expanded Senior Leadership Team. Scary, huh?
At the mixer, all the company's executives, middle managers and team leader-types would gather at the Petroleum Club, get toasted, eat nasty food, pretend to like each other, and then play a two hour game of Dirty Santa. If that sounds like a terrible time, well, it kind of was. Fortunately, though, there was an open bar to make everything better.
I don't know what it is, but there's just something magical about drinking a FREE vodka tonic, glass of wine, or your choice of Heineken or Corona with people you don't really like but have to work with. Open bars can turn any boring event into something fun and amazing. That's why I'm surprised they don't have them at funerals.
Anyway, the assholes at Channel 4 are out to ruin the fun for everyone. They are trying to convince your employer to stop providing alcohol at holiday parties:
Holiday parties are in full swing and from martinis to mojitos, the drinks are expected to flow.
But before companies and social butterflies throw these events, a local attorney is wanting you to think twice before serving alcohol.
While everyone mingles under the mistletoe, attorney David Slane warns event planners to think about how they will manage guests who’ve had too much to drink.
He says under Oklahoma law, if a person leaves your party intoxicated and injures another person in a car accident, you could face consequences.
“We’ve seen the impact of having a party and someone getting behind the wheel and injuring or even killing someone because they are drunk,” Slane said. “Oklahoma courts have essentially fashioned the rules to such an extent that you can be held liable. If it’s a company party, the company can he held liable or an individual person.”
Slane said there are other options to protect yourself from costly litigation, like hiring a bartender who is trained to know when someone has had enough.
Have pre-selected designated drivers at the party or have a tipsy tow service on speed dial to accommodate guests who are past their limits.
Party planners should also have an area where people can sleep it off and always have an array of non-alcoholic beverages.
Slane said, “I know of a case where a company has been held liable once they serve someone alcohol and that person later had an accident and they had several thousand dollars judged against them that they had to pay.”
Another tip officials suggest for party planners is to slowly stop serving alcohol about two hours before the event is expected to end.
Uhm, what the hell is Channel 4 doing?! Why are they giving cheap ass corporations an excuse to not serve alcohol? Companies like taking risks as much as my dog likes taking a trip to the vet. Next week Channel 4 will probably run a report that free t-shirts at Thunder games can lead to serious injury and giving blow jobs in cars leads to weight gain.
As a protest to all this, I'm think I'm going to serve additional alcohol at our TLO Christmas party. Of course, with Marisa's alarmingly high alcohol tolerance and Clark Matthews retelling of "The Night the Night Before Christmas" getting longer and longer each year, we probably need it anyway.
Also, in case you're a CEO thinking about turning the holiday party dry, remember a couple of things.
1. The attorney mentioned in the KFOR report, David Slane, is a self-described sex offender defender. Basically, you shouldn't listen to anything he says.
2. The risk of having an employee or two tragically die in a fiery automobile crash is totally worth the reward of free booze. And I think I speak for most people when I say that.
