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10 other monuments we should build at the State Capitol

10:00 AM EST on November 20, 2012

I guess you can say the phrase "Set in Stone" is no longer relevant.

Just days after being unveiled to the world, the typos found carved into the new granite 10 Commandments monument at the Oklahoma State Capitol have been corrected.

From News 9:

The typos on the new Ten Commandments monument at the State Capitol are fixed Saturday night.

The repair work was supposed to happen this weekend. News 9 went and checked it out and sure enough the misspellings are gone.

The $10,000 monument had two words spelled wrong. Sabbath had an "e" instead of an "a" before the "T-H". And the word "maidservant" had a "u" instead of a "v."

The monument was paid for with private money. The company who made it took responsibility for the mistakes and fixed them.

It's not mentioned in the News 9 report, but there was a third typo, too. It was in the final commandment about cattle. The word "neighbors" was missing an apostrophe. I drove to the capitol to check the monument and that mistake was also fixed. That means we have an error free religious monument on our capitol grounds. Hooray!

Actually, this sucks. If you read this site often, you're probably aware that I'm pretty fond of typos and French maidservants. Plus, outside of Iron Man, I've never really liked Black Sabbath. Sure, they were an influential heavy metal band and everything, but their sound hasn't aged well. It's like Thanksgiving wine or something. So in a way, I guess the typo laden monument was perfect for me.

Anyway, this whole controversy got me thinking, why should we stop with a list of ancient laws provided to us by a lonely Jewish man who got angry one day and climbed a mountain? There are a bunch of rules and codes and laws and myths that should be displayed on the steps of where our government conducts its business.

Here's a list of 10:

1. The Bill of Rights

I bet even Moses would agree the Bill of Rights has more relevance to our political process and democracy than a list of 10 ancient Jewish laws. It's the Bill of Rights that guarantees people the right to worship what they want, say what they want, and own an assault weapon and shoot who they want. Seriously, can someone with $10,000 lying around make this happen? It makes almost too much sense.


2. I-Tunes Store - Terms and Conditions

This is now a bigger part of our life than the Bill of Rights and 10 Commandments combined. And you know what, no one ever reads or questions it. Putting it on our Capitol steps would possibly change that. Also, now that we know it's easy to replace wording on granite, updating it every few week shouldn't be an issue.


3. Laser Quest Player's Code

Wouldn't it be nice if our elected officials played by those same rules? They'd get a whole lot more done if they did.


4. Gov. Fallin's Divorce Paperwork

Hey, you have to admit that it would make a good read. You know, if you're into that sort of kinky stuff.


5. The Green family's original copy of Jesus' long form birth certificate 

I'm think the Green Family (a.k.a. The zealous Owners of Mardel, Hobby Lobby and whatever that Hemispheres place is) owns one of the world's finest collections of old bibles and ancient religious relics. I'm not sure if Jesus' birth certificate is part of the collection, but it wouldn't surprise me. Unfortunately, it's probably displayed in a low-quality, overpriced frame. We should encase it in granite and display it at the capitol before it's ruined and lost for good.


6. The Contra 30 Lives Code

This well help ensure that  "↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A" will not be forgotten by future generations.


7. The 8 Rules of Fight Club

Based upon recent behavior by some people at the capitol (a.k.a. Mike Reynolds), this should be installed sooner rather than later.


8. The 10 Commandments of Love

I know for a fact that several legislators sing this song every Monday night at Nancy's Lighthouse.


9. Han Solo Frozen in Carbonite

That would just be cool


10. Rules of Free TLO Team Trivia Night

Sorry, sometimes it's hard for me to resist a shameless plug.

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