An Edmond woman, Alice M. Scott, turned 100-years old back on October 30. This got me to thinking. I’m from Edmond. Can I, too, expect such a long and glorious life? Is there something in that Hafer Park pond water that functions as a fountain of youth? Is driving on Danforth between Kelly and Fretz really the slow-moving time warp that it feels like and can cause the relative speed of your life to decrease? Have I seen every movie and read every book on time travel and still don’t understand the science behind it?
Since making it out of Edmond to the glorious haven that is Norman, where cops don’t even bother to pull you over for speeding because they have bigger DUI fish to fry and you can smoke weed on Main Street and no one seems to get caught, I’ve long thought that I would never go back. Sure, my family lives there now and lived there before it even became a city (fact: My great grandparents owned land that was bought by CSU, now UCO), but I like to go out at night, and, well, I believe I covered my feelings about Edmond’s night life back before I officially wrote for this blog.
But Alice has got me to thinking: What if we turned Edmond into a safe haven for old folks? It seems to have granted Alice unnaturally long life, like the one ring of power did to Bilbo Baggins. Perhaps, Edmond is the precious that will ensure our forebearers are able to serve old Werther’s Originals in a fancy candy dish, watch The Price is Right, and lose hearing aid batteries under their recliners for years to come. Check out these ten reasons why Edmond should be the official retirement home city of Oklahoma after the jump!
Delta Café
I had a friend who used to wait tables here in high school. She said she was busiest around 4:00 PM, traditionally a dead time at restaurants that don’t have a happy hour. When I asked her why, she said because that’s when all the old people come to have dinner. And what does an old person want to eat other than the home cooking of their youth and all the terrible for you foods that those dadgum nutritionists and new-fangled diet books tell you not to eat?