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Law and Order

Teens on bikes tried to rob a Bartlesville bank

We haven't talked much about Bartlesville on TLO. Sure, the Pioneer Woman is from there, which is noteworthy if butter, Photoshopping and meeting rich cowboys are among your hobbies, but unless you work for ConocoPhillips, it's a forgettable town.

But that doesn't mean it's a bad place. My friends who live there (and all work for ConocoPhillips) seem to like it. Bartlesville's Main Street feels like a moderately upgraded version of every other Main Street in Oklahoma--well, you know, besides OKC, Norman, and Tulsa. It also has the Mozart thing, that historic ugly skyscraper, and teenage bicycle bank robbers. It's a great town.

From News on 6:

Two Bartlesville teenage boys are in the Washington County jail on a complaint of attempting to rob a bank.

Bartlesville Police say just before 5 p.m. Friday officers responded an attempted bank robbery at the Bank of the West branch at 4th and Johnstone.

Bank employees say two teens that had been riding bicycles, entered the bank on foot and demanded money from one of the tellers. When the teller said ‘no', employees said the teens said they had a gun and reached into their pockets. When a branch manager told the two teens to leave, both teens ran out of the bank and rode off on their bicycles.

Police say no gun was ever displayed.

One police officer recognized the teens, ages 16 and 17, after seeing them earlier in the day near downtown.

Bartlesville Police tracked them to a home near 5th and Choctaw where they were arrested and a judge ordered them locked up in jail until a court hearing.

I understand how being a part of heist could seem pretty exciting. Butch and Sundance made it look awesome, so did Quick Change. After Oceans 11 and its sequels hit theaters, we all secretly decided that if we were ever offered an opportunity to be a part of an elaborate scheme to rip off the Man, we at least consider participating in the mission. Then, you know, The Dark Knight came out and reminded us all why we aren't criminals. Sometimes, we all need a little cinematic magic to swiftly kick us in the ass and remind us who we are and what we're doing in the world. And by "we," I actually mean "me," and by "sometimes," I actually mean "every week when I watch Stand By Me."

To say that these teens were ill-prepared for this venture would be a gross injustice. It's like, one minute they're playing kickball and racing bicycles, then they realized that they didn't have enough money to buy an orange sherbet Push Pop from Kum and Go (ha, I didn't reference QuikTrip!), so they decided to try robbing a bank without a weapon, a plan, or first perfecting their mean mug.

Seriously though, the banker all but laughed and told these kids to f--- off.  Truthfully, I wouldn't be afraid if a person whose preferred method of transportation was a bicycle tried to rob me either. This is especially true when it comes to Tulsa cyclists. Most of the bike enthusiasts I know enjoy things like chemical-free deodorant, quinoa, and clothing made out of wheat. In Tulsa, to ride a bicycle is to tell the world that you're generally a peaceful person. Well, that is until you call one of them out for riding in front of your car on the street but functioning as a pedestrian whenever it's more convenient. Yeah, I can tell you from experience that cyclists don't like it when you complain about that.

Follow Chelsea on Twitter at @xCawoodstock

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