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Law and Order

This guy attacked his girlfriend because she wouldn’t eat a burrito…

The hombre pictured above is Adrian Solis. He was arrested over the weekend for driving drunk, endangering the lives of nine children and beating his girlfriend because she wouldn't eat a burrito. You know, typical stuff.


Police say one man has been arrested after a beating on an Oklahoma City interstate late Saturday night.

Police say they were called to Interstate 40 and Pennsylvania Avenue when two motorists reported seeing a man beating a woman and nine children running from a car. Solis, who was near a gold Nissan along with nine children and a woman, was identified by the witnesses, according to police.

Officers handcuffed Solis and reported a "strong odor of alcohol" and "slurred speech," according to the police report. Solis then told officers he was arguing with his girlfriend because she threw a burrito at him.

The victim also agreed the fight began because she did not want a burrito. After she told Solis she did not want it she claims he threw it at her and started hitting her with a closed fist but continued to drive while the woman was holding a baby, according to the police report.

The victim then told officers that four of the children were hers and five belonged to Solis. None of the children appeared injured.

The woman had visible injuries on her face but did not want medical treatment and refused to press charges, stating that Solis had never hit her before.

Solis' brother was also in the car and stopped the attack, officers say. In all, three adults and nine children were in the four door car.

Let me get this straight. You have 12 Hispanics crammed into a four-door car fighting over a burrito. As George Lopez would probably say, that sounds like a typical Saturday night in South Oklahoma City. Seriously, it's like someone plugged Adrian Solis' name into an online Mexican stereotype news generator and hit the "submit" button. The only thing this story is missing is a lawnmower, tequila bottle and the Virgin Mary.

All joking aside, this story is sad. What type of asshole beats a woman who's holding a baby because she won't eat a burrito? I'll tell you who. The same type of asshole who crams nine children into a gold Nissan and drives around town on a drunken joyride! Also, how could the woman not have pressed charges? That's about as dumb as turn downing a free burrito (or being in a relationship with a maniacal asshole).

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