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In defense of the homophobes at Chick-fil-A…

6:00 AM EDT on August 2, 2012

Not only was yesterday one of the hottest days in Oklahoma City history, but it was also Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day. All across the city, people braved dangerous scolding heat and stood in line to support a fast food fried chicken chain's right to free speech and draconian views on marriage. It was also the day where a couple of unsuspecting elderly people who do not follow current events wondered why they had to wait so long to get a chicken biscuit.

From News 9:

Oklahomans who oppose gay marriage lined up in the 113 degree heat on Wednesday to send a message.

"They have said that they will serve anybody and I really think they treat people equally. They just believe in traditional marriage and that's the way I feel too," said Chick-Fil-A patron, Ann Sorrels.

Sorrels made those remarks while heading into an Edmond Chick-Fil-A restaurant with her daughters. People waited patiently and took cue from the company's slogan by eating more chicken.

"It takes a lot of guts to stand behind his conviction. I don't think [city] mayors should ban his stores just because he has a view on marriage. I want to show my support and the least I can do is grab a sandwich," said Promise Igwe.

"Appreciation Day" was organized by former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, who used Facebook and social media to ask fans to support the Christian chain. Even local churches participated.

"I have told my congregation, ‘We are called to love everyone.' We love gays. We love lesbians. [That] doesn't mean we agree with their lifestyle, but I'm not casting stones at anyone," said Pastor Scott White of Lone Star Baptist Church.

Okay, this topic has been beaten to death by everyone. And I mean everyone. That includes us, your mom, that person on Facebook, the news media, cows and you. So instead of sharing my two-cents on the matter, I'm just going to copy and paste some random text from James Joyce's Ulysses and mix in some TLO & Chick-fil-A references. I'm doing this because I have a theory that most commenters only read the titles of posts and then just jump straight to the comments section. I don' think any of them actually read the post they are commenting on. The same goes for social media. I'm sure people will RT, @-reply and leave Facebook comments about this post without even clicking the link.

Anyway, Chick-fil-A sucks is good is really bad who cares stately, plump Jim Traber came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressing gown, ungirdled, was sustained gently-behind him by the mild morning air. He held the bowl aloft and intoned: "Giving it up to myself." Chick-fil-A spicy chicken biscuit.

Seriously, Chick-fil-A solemnly he came forward and mounted the round gunrest. Gary England  faced about and blessed gravely thrice the tower, the surrounding country and the awaking mountains. Then, catching sight of Stephen Dedalus, he bent towards him and made rapid crosses in the air, gurgling in his throat and shaking his head. Stephen Dedalus, displeased and sleepy, leaned his arms on the top of the staircase and looked coldly at the shaking gurgling face that blessed him, equine in its length, and at the light untonsured hair, grained and hued like pale oak.

Also, he skipped off the gunrest and looked gravely at his watcher, gathering about his legs the loose folds of his gown. The plump shadowed face and sullen oval jowl recalled a prelate, patron of arts in the middle ages. A pleasant smile broke quietly over his lips. Hopefully people will quit talking about this topic soon.

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